When Little Girls Grow Up

Date: 5/11/2017

By Fitful

I was underwater, I lived there with my family as a young child. I grew this massive plot, it might have been in multiple stacks, of vegetables and fruits, produce. I recall lots of different lettuces. It grew underwater too, but it was outside our home complex. Inside I spend the days playing with my brother, hiding in and our of little hideaways and secret far off places. ~ I was a young girl/woman, just finishing childhood. I hadn't yet decided what to do with my life, currently I was living with family, my mother, father, our extended family, my girlfriend and I had friends and other around me who knew me well, had known me all my life. We lived in this bright white complex which reminded me of a modern cave system. The outside world was freely accessible and i knew I was going out there soon, but I hadn't accepted it yet. I wasn't quite ready. I ran around, being myself and completely free to be myself. I was loved and cherished by those around me. My girlfriend had to leave tho, for some reason she had to go and I wouldn't see her again. That was rather sad but I soon got caught up in a something which kept my attention. On a whim I took a pregnancy test, I had seen it done in a movie and wanted to try it, but it turned out it was positive. The stick was yellow, and yellow meant positive. I searched the medicine cupboard for other test sticks but there weren't any. I didn't want to tell anyone, and I was way too self conscious to go buy any. I forgot about this it until I realized an old box I'd been eating out of it (recyclable) was a box which had pregnancy tests (the brand read rolex) in it. It was a huge box, long. This convinced me we, our family had more in storage. Each family was entitled to a single file cabinet in the warehouse. For some reason I knew we all were migratory and this is where we kept important documents and stuff which needed safekeeping. I took a good friend of mine and went into my families. I found a lot of documents but not what I was looking for. I was sure it was farther back in the warehouse. These guys interrupted us, laughing and chattering about a pirate sports teams game. I told them good-naturedly just to poke fun, you know pirate are the bad guys, (all that pillaging and stuff). They were too stuck inside the sports team mindset, where their side was the best and all the rest were the devil. They couldn't even joke about their own team being wrong. Laughing they went off. I decided I needed to hide what I'd done with the files and snooping so I told the guy friend we were going to make paper grass, tall grass to hide it. Four hours later I've made these incredible intricate paper grass sculptures. I mean they are utterly amazing, with detail, each one unique, some of them look like grecian temple ruins with grass coming off. Each are perfectly cut and fit together. My guy friend is in awe too. He makes a joke about jobs not calling me back because they know my reputation (being crazy and flighty all running around) but I do have the talent. It's in there. (Implying he knows I have a perfect job waiting for me.) I spend some time with family I think having a Thanksgiving dinner. I get to know my dad, who isn't around much at all and I've never gotten to know him. He's this scruffy, thin, rough looking man, kind like a pirate himself. But it turns out I like his personality. When he goes to leave I do tear up, it's hard to say goodbye to him because I'm not used to showing affection to men. I don't like to show my emotions to men, or maybe it's just him, but I do hug him good buy voluntarily, body still a bit stiff. My mom and I have a quiet conversation about money at the dinner table. It's about how much money she spends a month raising me. I immediately feel guilty and fudge my guess, low balling the number to $60. She shakes her head, and I know the answer is different, much higher, and I feel really bad. I do mention I know she spent a lot of money when I hurt my legs. We both get emotional over that. With my father and girlfriend gone, it feels like everyone I love is leaving. Some other close family members have gone too and who's left in this white beautiful modern cave complex is family who don't particularly like me, like grandparents who don't set a place for me at the dinner table, and my mother who blames me for money. I realize I'm really pregnant when I start craving a ton of apple pie and icecream. It makes sense even tho I can't find more tests to do. I realize either my brother or my uncle got me pregnant. I feel a bit weird about that. I'm also blonde. I worry a bit because soon I have to go out into the world, and i worry about taking a baby with me. I keep trying not to think about it, convince myself I might possibly abort but I know I will never do that. I can already feel the baby is mine. I'm in the hallway, maybe at a dinner table or standing in front of it. A little girl, about 3 or four rides up on a tricycle carrying a glittery unicorn wand stick. She pokes me with it, this huge attitude on her face, and tells me to move. She wants to sit where I am. I look at her and take unicorn stick and hit her on the head with it, glitter rains down on her face. It's my sense of humor again, making fun. But the glitter unicorn stick, once back in her hand, does something hilarious and while I don't know if she did it, or if it's sentient i figure it did it because of her anyway and I laugh a lot and let her have her way. I get to thinking as I look at her, and I suddenly realize she's going to grow up into my next girlfriend, that she'll be the same as my old girlfriend but different and more suited to me. This epiphany spins off into others, that I'm a shapeshifter and of course I need a shapeshifer to be my mate. And that the entity behind the little girl and my previous girlfriend is the same entity, like a driver behind a car. And the entity needs to grow and change too, to be able to pilot a Shapeshifter who is perfect match to me. I can practically see this person and who she is, or will be when I meet her. It's very exciting to realize and acknowledge that I need myself to be matched by someone.