Broken glass, broken heart

Date: 6/22/2017

I can't remember all the pieces now. But it was very vivid and I remember waking up grasping for air. Ive recently discovered my boyfriend has been cheating on me with escorts. This isn't the first time I've caught him. And lately it's been an internal struggle deciding when to leave this relationship, it's hard because I feel so attached and I love him more than anything. In my dream he was crazy, pretty stoned or out of it. I was talking in the kitchen with him, I glance at his phone. It's an unknown number saying "hey baby, wanna meet up?" I argue with him, I take the phone out of his hands. He tells me he has been seeing this escort for a long time now (he is intoxicated and smiling while telling me, almost sneering), says he didn't even bother using a condom anymore, and that he loves to fuck her, and he's going to go see her. I look at the picture of her, and it's one of my rivals from high school. I thought about her perfect body and her perfect hair, and I remember in my dream just having this overwhelming feeling of sickness and rage. I felt so betrayed. I took a clear glass plate, and started smashing it with my hands, and grinding my fist into the glass. Shards of glass seemed to be flying everywhere in the room, while I thought about him going to meet with her, smiling and laughing at me.