Suicide gone wrong

Date: 10/13/2017

I was sitting in a train station, and saw this guy at a distance... He got up on a podium, I was talking to Josh King at the time, and this guy started talking about 5 things he was proud of into a microphone. He was a tall black man with long dreads tied into a bun, and was homeless, so nobody was listening to him. I wanted to, but was in mid conversation with Josh so paid no attention to this man either. Suddenly I heard screams, and turned to see that he pulled out a gun, and stuck it in his mouth. I shouted "NO!!! Please don't do it" but he wouldn't listen and I felt so helpless, too far away to run and stop him. He shot himself and I saw the spray out of the back of his head. I couldn't believe it, and was in shock... but moments later I noticed that it was far worse than I could have imagined. He was still alive!!! And he was trying to talk - muffled groans and cries as he lay face down, shaking, with a big hole in the back of his head. I ran down to help... but had no idea what to do! Someone else had picked up the gun by now, and I this person looked to me for approval to just finish him off and put him out of his misery. I was so torn, I really wanted to call an ambulance, but saw how much pain this man was in... I started ringing for the ambulance, but in a panic I just gave this person a nod and told them to "just do it", because I couldn't bear to see this guy suffer any longer, so the shot happened, and he was dead this time. Face down on the floor. It was horrible !!!! Once he was dead I felt huge anxiety as to wether or not I made the right call... And it made me totally fear suicide.