Andreas

Date: 2/24/2024

Last night I had a dream I had gone to the doctor's for something I don't remember, only for the doctor to tell me I'm pregnant and due tomorrow. I say uh, no, clearly not pregnant and have had regular periods. They say ultrasound doesn't lie. I think well shit too late for me to do anything about that, they're coming. And the next day I give birth to a boy, my brain skips the actual birthing process thank god but I still feel vulnerable, weak, and a bit violated. I don't really know what to do with this tiny thing in my arms. I name him something I forget, started with the letter A, not common nor uncommon and medium length, but when I woke up the only name I can think is "Andreas" which doesn't feel exactly right. I took him home, where I had a mattress on the floor. He seemed cold so I held him close while we slept. When I woke up (still in dream) I realized I was late for school and left him for 2 hours. I only remembered my mistake on my way home from class, and felt such an incredible guilt and panic. When I returned he was still asleep, but I felt so afraid that he could have cried out while I was away, no one to help him. Up until this point I was in a state of shock, not really having processed all this, and now it really settled that I needed to figure out wtf I was going to do. I somehow end up with my Mother and Dr. Sarah, where I brought out the baby boy and explained how I got here. I felt like they weren't going to believe me fully, thinking that I knew that I was pregnant all along. They were very kind and accepting, but I didn't believe them.