Fear of Loss

Date: 3/23/2018

My parents and I are going to dinner. I’m dressed up nice in a skirt and I’m excited because we’re going to be meeting TJ, who goes to college nearby. I hurry ahead to go find him and, when I do, he curls his arm around me for the walk to the restaurant. The front of the restaurant looks like a museum, and when we go inside, it’s a kind of spiral ramp dining area with vendors off to the sides. We decide to sit alone instead of finding my parents. We cuddle together in repose on one side of the table. We take a nap like that, all curled together, and eat like that too. I get a dribble of food on my clothes, so we decide to find a restroom. Somehow the museum building is now a boat. Like one of the big Seattle ferries. I find a bathroom and go in, but I’m worried about being separated from TJ. The bathroom is split in half. One side is sinks. The other side is tiny stalls. I go into one of the stalls, and instead of a toilet, there’s some sort of urinal thing with a lip you’re supposed to straddle when you pee. I think no way in hell am I peeing with that thing, because I’m sure I will get it all over myself. I decide to just wash my hands and go find TJ. When I step out of the bathroom I look around and feel this moment of huge relief that he’s there, even though I haven’t spotted him yet. When I wake up, I have the song “A Movie Script Ending” by Death Cab For Cutie playing in my head.