Awakening the Beast

Date: 6/3/2017

I just had a dream where....I was essentially just spiraling out of control. I was with my friends at their house. And I have like 5 friends who all live together in the same house, and a lot of times we just meet up there for parties or to chill. So, I'm hanging out with them all day. And it just seems like nothing can go right. Like my one friend says something to me while we're in the car. And we all kinda pause and I'm like wow. That was mean. And the other friend there is smiling and saying yeah wow thats kinda....harsh there. And the girl who said it just kinda rolls her eyes and the conversation keeps flowing. I don't remember what was said, but I do remember actually being very hurt by this. She didn't acknowledge what she said at all, and waved it away. So, then we're all at the house. Some people are playing games, some people are watching shows, some people are talking and drinking, etc. I don't remember what I'm doing exactly but I remember getting the vibes that I'm like the crooked puzzle piece in the group. Everybody seems to tease me, makes jokes about me, or say things that are actually mean laced into a joke. But I'm trying to seriously brush it all off. There is one new guy though to the group. He's this Indian guy who I had worked with before at my job. In the dream for some reason it's totally normal that he's here. And I remember chatting with him, and he is so nice and friendly. We hit it off, and pretty much spend most of our time there together. Everybody is teasing us saying that we should be a couple or to just get married or something. And in this dream...for SOME REASON!? I actually start to try and have sex with this Indian guy like right in front of everyone??? Like we have a blanket over our laps to try and be discreet cuz we're watching movies. But I remember giving him a hand job and then when I go to try and like sit on his dick that's when others notice what we're doing. I guess some of them could see when I moved that his dick was out. And they were like omg wtf are u guys doing!? and we say, We were kinda like just watching movies, duh??? We tried to play if off, and it kinda worked, but kinda didnt. because they were suspicious and every time I moved they were like omg you two are having sex over there! So, I got up and went out onto the back porch for a little bit to get some air. My one friend who said something mean to me in the car was there and I kinda confronted her about it. She, once again, was completely avoiding it and saying more mean things in the process of trying to cover up for herself. I have been getting more and more frustrated the longer I have been here with them. So, I lash out and gosh I wish I could remember what I said. Because at this point I start to become a real bitch. I don't take the mean jokes anymore and I start to actually be bitchy and aggressive back to my 'friends' because I'm actually hurt by what they are saying to me, and I feel like they dont even want me around. So yeah, I say some stuff to my friend, go back inside, and they are all teasing me inside and I fire back at them bitchy comments that I really didn't mean. It was just a heat of the moment thing. And then somebody tells my boyfriend that I tried to fuck another guy. And in my dream he's obviously, like, upset about it. But strangely, hes not doing anything. He's kinda just there. A lot of my friends have now abandoned me at this point because of what I did. And they chose my boyfriend's side. So, I singlehandedly pretty much just destroyed all my friendships in one day. And my one friend says he called my house and left a message for my parents to find, telling them all about what I've done. I am so lonely, hurt, and upset by all of this. I decide to leave. My boyfriend wants to talk. But he wants to talk in the house. I tell him that we can talk outside because I just have to get away. He doesn't want to, so I get up and walk out. As I'm walking down the front steps I feel one of my friend's hands on my shoulder, trying to stop me for a second Now I'm not sure if they wanted to stop me to talk, to yell at me, or say more hateful things. So, I shrug it off and keep going. I walk over to my house, so upset, and I pass by my aunt coming out of the door. She says something about my uncle trying to kill himself (this is true in real life) and that there was a message for me on the phone. I panic, because I don't want my parents to listen to that message. I rush in, and listen to it. It is the sound of growling, and heavy breathing. In the dream I interpret it to be the sound of the beast, the devil. Basically by cheating on my boyfriend and everything else, I had let the devil into my life or something. I got the feeling he was coming for me. And then, like a narrator in a movie, I hear my voice playing out like a thought, "Do you ever feel like you're the only one who is asleep?". And then I woke up. I accidentally fell asleep in my creepy living room. it's not haunted, just creepy