The Pangs of Rejection

Date: 3/21/2017

I was living in a complex, it looked like a high end office building actually. The lobby was a domed large room, skylights, and red carpet, and couches, fronds. Like a kaiser doctor's office waiting room perhaps. Really nice studied feel of relaxation. I started dating a security guard there. I'm not sure if I was merely a resident or also a security guard who happened to be a resident, but i think I just lived there. The girl I began dating was manly, and softened at first enough for us to begin dating, but quickly closed up. Her emotions seemed to get shut off, walled away. And she broke up with me so quickly she left a lot of things of hers behind. I didn't really know what happened to make her shut off so quickly. But she had taught me how to do something. I was stronger for it. I was also upset. I made a video with this pretty boy singing on it, I directed it and everything. It was all the rage on TV. 90's pop, but I think it was her in the video somehow. And it had been made a while ago, maybe when we were together, but also when she was really young. Like 10 years ago. Now she was trying to recreate the same buzz in the media, by imitation of her past hit. It wasn't working that well. I still saw her daily. Her security post was directly in from of my door, which led to the lobby. I think out of spite I curled up on a couch right beside her station with another girl. The other girl was soft and pretty and together we were like cake or cats, soft green and soft pink colored yin and yang. We literally cuddled up together like the yin and yang symbol, I saw us from above. She was so soft and sweet and into me, but before it went anywhere she went to sleep on the top of the couch, leaving me bewildered. My ex the security guard asked me what I was doing? She seemed perturbed, which I suppose must have been my original intent. I was a bit angry. I felt this fevered panic, this voracious hunger for something I didn't know what it was. It felt like no one wanted me, and I was so eager to accept. It also felt like I was fine without them, and that scared me more. I felt like I was melting. A new resident at the complex came in and wasn't well taken care of by the security. I found him after he'd been here a day or so and he was still in pain. He was a little boy, maybe about 5 at most, and he had been tied up so tightly the thin twine rope had fused into his skin a bit. He had been tied, his arms tied down, and his penis tied into knots. He could barely function this way. I was horrified and got scissors and snipped the one around the stomach. I got skin the first few attempts, there was little difference between his skin and the twine. I was able to cut his penis free easily and it smoothed out to look normal in seconds. The next day he had gained weight because he could eat finally. I felt he would be okay.