her again (Allie)

Date: 1/27/2020

i can’t stop dreaming of her. i think this is the 5th time this month. i remember being in this building just walking around when i saw her across the room. she entered a theatre and i began running after her. for some reason nick from high school was there and we were racing to get tickets. we ran to an entrance but as we got there they were sold out. i knew i had to get into this theatre, so i ran to the other entrance. we were right beside each other neck and neck but when we got there there were plenty of tickets so it was almost pointless lol. i jogged inside and it was a massive theatre. i was on the top floor and began looking around for her. after about 10 minutes i almost gave up. that’s when i saw her. she was sitting alone with a bunch of empty seats around her. i jumped over several rows and landed in the seat next to her. she looked over and smiled. we began talking as if nothing had ever went wrong. as if we had stayed in touch constantly and we immediately clicked again. we didn’t even watch the movie. i asked if she wanted to leave and she said yes. as we were walking out i grabbed her and hugged her and said “somehow i always knew we’d find one another again” and she replied “yes! i felt the same way. like there was always something keeping me from completely letting you go.” as soon as she said that i felt this rush of relief flow through me. it was as if i knew that we would be together forever. that i was so certain and confident i would never let her go and that id be the best boyfriend she had ever known. after hugging we walked around the mall for awhile just talking and having fun. i genuinely felt at peace because i knew that as long as i had her, everything else seemed less significant. that having her meant i could die tomorrow knowing that i didn’t have any regrets and that i’d die being with the girl i loved. as we were walking around we ran into some of her friends and talked with them, then left and sat down at this event where some man was speaking. he wasn’t really saying anything and after a while i looked over at her and right into her eyes. those goddamned eyes were so amazing that i lost my breath. right then my alarm went off and i woke up. that’s where im writing this. sitting in my bed thinking about her. almost everyday i do and we’ve been separated for almost a year. sometimes the feelings flood and i wish i could just hold her and tell her how i care about her one last time. some might say that this was an ordinary dream but i think it was more a nightmare. being with her in my sleep but waking up and knowing i’ll never be with her again is a cruel reality and a nightmare i never want to have again. i miss you