Eating disorder and the big family

Date: 11/6/2016

Trigger warning Okay so background info: I have an eating disorder, or ED. It's bulimia nervosa...or EDNOS (eating disorder not otherwise specified) because I have both anorexic and bulimic tendencies. The first part of my dream was filled with me at the grandmas house, trying to get into the bathroom so I could throw up my binges. (I was starving last night because I threw up my dinner and I spent the night watching food shows)(idk why I do this to myself. so food is usually a big role in all my recent dreams.) One night I binged on everything in the house, like EVERYTHING. And I couldn't find time to get into the bathroom and purge so I panicked and ran. This is the part where the eating disorder left my dream thank god. I was at this persons house and they had so many children, I don't know why I was there but I think it was because I was placed there for recovery but it changed later to some kind of documentary about there way of life. Which was something about the parents keeping them inside the house all the time unless it was the ten minuets of free time. I connected with this girl first, a girl who looked like Emma from Miss Peregrine's home for peculiar children. (I saw that movie weeks ago idk why she was in this dream) but she was really nice and curious because she had never met anybody like me so we clicked. We explored her house. They had a bunch of children so a bunch of rooms. They had three older children (the ones I hung out with) and ten middle aged children, and then five little girls, then five little boys (the boys were in the attic because they had no other bed rooms...) (There was one part where me and the girl were on this one floor, let me add it seemed this girl didn't know much about her own house so everything we saw seemed new to her too. This one room we saw I peeked in and there was this middle aged man in these braces like he was paralyzed and when he noticed something was looking in at him he panicked and grabbed a coloring book off of his lap and began to fill in the colors, all while looking nervous. Anyway I had stayed at this house for a few days, every day I noticed more and more about how the parents really were fucking up their children's life by being so protective. One night me and the girl went out side for our ten minuets but then we're called inside. At this point I was so annoyed at how the girl I was with always listened to her father and was so brainwashed into doing what he said. (She loved going to bed at eight and waking up at five in the morning) idk why. So she ran inside and I followed her. The mom was setting the table and mentioned how there was a meteor shower that night and they would never be able to see it. I complained, I said it was a. Beautiful phenomenon and they deserved to see it. But the dad got mad at me. We debated and got louder and louder until he said if I didn't like it there then I could just leave. So in my weird cowboy boots and my strangely fitting belt I took off down the street while I heard the Girls and boys and mother calling after me. I ran so far that when I stopped I couldn't move because I was exhausted. Somebody grabbed me, it was a strange man. He started to choke me and hurt me and I screamed. He was going o rape me I think but then everything went black. I woke up in the families house, surrounded by the oldest six children. The girl was really concerned around me, as was the mom. When I woke up I began to scream and kick, not knowing where I was but they calmed me down and I told them what happened and then I went to sleep. The rest of the Dream was me being confined in this room made out of pillows and watching this tv of nothing. I was literally just staring at a static tv and I was fine with it. Could anybody interpret this? I think I have an idea but I'm also dumb so idk.