Being a teen again isn't fun.

Date: 5/11/2019

I was a teenager and stuck in the hospital. It was very very white. My mother on the phone refused to let me leave. Either I was very sick and she was worried or she'd already decided I was very crazy and was paranoid. I kept waiting for pills, or taking some and having to wait for the rest. It was hours. I'd gotten sick at school and I was very mad, wanting to go back immediately. I had something that evening to get to. Somehow I split myself, or my point of view, and the eager buoyant side of me left to go back to school and hang with friends. But she left naked. No one seemed to find it weird. She was also super thin, pretty, flawless. I was left at the hospital still waiting. I didn't look like her. ~ I was at an antique store. I found a box fan I liked. It worked and I was thrilled. It was dated but cool. The woman was pleased to show it off and eager to show me others in her pride, but she was set to close and looked like she was leaving any minute. She showed me a better fan, very strong and toucmgh looking in black metal casing looking similar to a boom box. It was more. I asked if I could come back in the morning, I only brought $40 with me. She got irritated I was wasting her time and told me she had to leave. She had second job. As we left I ran I to some butterflies, they were usual. They were Guinea pig butterflies. Their heads were Guinea pigs and their bodies fluffy fur and they were huge. But they were covered in black spots and flew lethargic on slow up drafts. She told me it was best I didn't touch them, the black spots. They were sick, it was her job to take care of them. Some of their natural coloring showed near their head, on the scruff. They were supposed to be brown with a glittering trace of white sparkling on the ends of each hair. I to he'd them anyway. The black spots felt like pits of warm heavy blood all dried. ~ Also, and I don't remember this dream, someone kept telling me not to trust someone. An adult. ~ I was told to cut the cord, a lover or a would be loved was telling me. She said to would be painful and pleasurable. I think the cord was an umbilical one, invisible, connected to my mother.