dreamt my only grandmother died

Date: 7/17/2021

so i dreamt my only living grandparent died. All my others died before i was born so it’s kinda sad having the only one die in my dream. My grandmother‘s time did not have english in school only my mum did, when my mum first started school it was only chinese for the chinese but now chinese is a Mother Tounge and English is the main language used in all subjects. So my grandma speak in chinese dialects teochew which i never able to understand, my chinese is bad because i only focus the main language because it’s use in all subjects which is english , and as a kid i was a christian girl and thought christian only speak in english. You can say i’m very slow and stupid. I’m never able to learn more than one language, abit japanese from anime but nothing much . So i have difficulty communicating with my grandmother due to language barrier, it’s sad. I’m jelous of people able to learn more language. I learn chinese in school and it was difficult for me to understand because i’m slow so i was taken out from chinese class because my mum had to still teach me kindergarten chinese when i was already 11 , so my mum decided to let me focus the other subjects. I dislike visiting relatives during cny, been look down for not able to speak chinese, i feel unwanted.