Dream Journal Ultimate
Date: 8/3/2025
By Ether_Erebus
I’m pregnant and at a function of some sort but it’s outside in a cabin/woods area. Like half outside and half inside. I can’t tell if it’s a work retreat or something but it’s similar to that. I’m making something - idk what it is - but physically I’m making something, a friend is with me, being my buddy and keeping me company because my ex (Eminem) is there. We were supposed to come here together but for some reason we separated. Idk if it was because he was showing some not so healthy signs of abuse (towards me) or if he cheated on me or something. I can’t really remember. But he’s there and he’s watching me the entire time. Won’t take his eyes off me. I’m doing/touching up my makeup in the kitchen area because everywhere else is busy and he watches as I apply my blush, my bronzer, and mascara - all of it. It’s weirdly comforting but also rubs me the wrong way, specifically “you messed up, you don’t get to watch me now” kind of vibes. I try to ignore him and I continue doing my makeup and blending everything out. I look in my little mirror and he’s still watching me. We end up needing to making something heavy but I need some of the items that aren’t around. I think they’re in the basement. The set up of this cabin/building is weird but it either another room or a basement - I can’t remember (weird dream logic lol). I need help and I don’t know where my friend went, so I go down alone. I’m not extremely pregnant but enough that people can possibly guess I am. I end up walking down; I don’t need to turn on the lights because it’s mid morning, but I do anyways. I don’t have to confirm it but I know he followed me down. I turn around when I make it into the middle of the room and he looks at me and says “I know, I know. Stay away and don’t talk or come near me. But I can’t let you just do things on your own. No heavy lifting, remember?” I stare at him and he looks earnest. Standing there, relaxed and looking at me in the eye, bending down to look at my face. I don’t say anything - I’m equally shocked and relieved to see him there. Shocked because I didn’t think he would follow me and actually talk to me and relieved because I hoped he would. Ironic considering I’m the one who told him to stop. I look down and back at him, and he’s still there. Hands in his pockets, looking relaxed but hopeful - like a vet looking at a scared animal, trying to get close. I say, “I can’t find ____. Do you know if that’s here?” I say it clear and composed. He looks at me a beat and says “yeah, it’s here. Give me a minute and I’ll bring it up for you.” And as I’m about to say no, he comes towards me, grabs my forearm gently and tells me to sit on the couch and watch TV as he grabs the heavy stuff. I’m sitting there, there’s some random thing playing on the TV and he comes in periodically, grabbing stuff and taking it up to the other outdoor room thing. At some point, he climbs into this huge cabinet looking thing and is grabbing something from it. He turns around and starts to hand it to me and I properly look at his face and he’s exhausted. I get up and put the volume down on the TV and grab the thing in his hand, just for him to hold the thing and my hand entirely. He looks at me, on the verge of passing out and just smiles at our hands and then me. I instinctively let go of his hand and hold his face instead, really looking at him. He leans into my hands, savouring the touch. I let go of his face and he catches my hand again, the thing we were both holding, still within our hands. I don’t hesitate to drag him towards the couch and make him sit down. His eyes are half-closed but he’s still holding my hand and won’t let go. I sit there and feel him sink into the couch, becoming mush and as his breathing evens out I try to take my hand out of his grip but he holds tighter. So I sit there, watching him sleep and I can’t help it but touch under his eyes - noticing the eye-bags and puffiness. He clearly hasn’t been sleeping. And at some point I end up looking more at him than the TV. I don’t know what to do - I’m conflicted between the boundary I set and the love I clearly have for him. Not to mention this is his child I’m carrying. And as the time goes on, I end up sinking into the couch too, my hand still in his and me slowly leaning into him. And then I woke up.