Future

Date: 4/26/2016

Goals promises are nothing with out following through on them. Work, School, a plan with goals and a process that will take time but will eventually be fulfilled. My first few steps taking care of my debt saving up about 1500 to 2000 by summers end. In between should I get a place out here in Edinburg or McAllen. Should I move out by my job work and do school from there to get on track be independent on my own without having to rely on anyone else but me. It will take me away from ones I love but being away isn't a bad thing at all. This time away will help me grow build foundation that for years on will be beneficial. The time is right the setting is great. This plan or process I'm going to go through either set my life on forward stable financial secure. But failing well it's not an option. It can't be an option. I'll be happy no matter what the outcome of the relationship goes. Honestly it just at that point where as long as there is a resolve no matter if she is here or not. It lets me know who I need to focus on either me or us. I don't know how the girls will end up taking it though. I love them so much But I don't think it's right to take them from there mother. The bond with me girls is stronger than their with there mom. I don't know how they take not seeing me every day or picking them up from daycare. They are my little Daddy's girls. So many questions some options. But at least I know that a new chapter of my life is starting. These past few years will be nothing but a distance thought. That brings joy knowing I'll be out of the storm. Im happy at first shocked kinda sad but now I'm happy for her and hope this gets her to let me go. I'm just going in my direction and not worry about anything else going on. Never was one to defer to someone else normally just take charge and follow my way type of guy. I gave that up and it was hard to be someone that I'm not I know it's sad but I can just only be me. I'm asshole sometimes i tell the truth and I'm straightforward to a honest core. It makes some people uncomfortable but if you ask my opinion I'm going to be honest. It's for the good to hear stuff that way. She has to accept that and I have to accept her for who she is. What's she has been through. So I can't blame her for all the shit I put her through. Which turned her into what she is now. We all make mistakes and being forgiven is part of life I forgive her but will she forgive me. I don't know what these letters or vent is I guess it would be a vent. I'm just here to let my thoughts out express myself to whoever.