lucid

Date: 8/13/2016

lucid dream last night. looked at the time on my phone and couldn't really tell what it said. realized it was bc i must be in a dream. tried to get up and move around but couldn't. would get super dizzy every time i tried. sleep paralysis? many times when i tried moving i would get that feeling that u get when ur falling in a dream and are about to wake up real surprised and shit. i couldn't remember anything from the real world. was confused as shit. well not that i couldn't remember anything i just had no idea where i was sleeping that night. recently went to mexico and had convinced myself that 'oh yes! i am sleeping in my uncles bed.' bc that's where i had slept while over there. at one point opened my eyes i think? like irl and noticed something bright on the wall. realized it was my tv in my room which i had left on. realized that 'oh shit im actually not in Mexico im in my room.' many times would 'wake up' only to realize that no no, im still dreaming. very scary but stuck through with it. managed to get up at one point. was walking around and could only hear a lot of very scary noises. sometimes it would be ppl moaning or other shit i don't remember but point is it was scary as shit and also very dark. kept wishing that it would turn into day time so that i could explore more w out getting scared as shit. (cause ya know im scared of the dark) at one point was outside and started looking like it would turn to day bc of the way the clouds looked but could never get it to happen. my brothers were in my dream along w others. couldn't get myself to interact w them the way i would like. (ask them questions and talk directly) maybe partly bc i was scared of what would happen. half expected them to turn evil or something if i did do it lol. surprised me that after every time i falsely woke up and went back to seeing my brothers they would be trying to accomplish the same task. despite having 'woken up' several times already. and despite that the task was totally separate from me and kind of mundane. (don't remember what it was) once when i 'woke up' which rlly didn't happen at all i remember playing music on my phone and putting my earbuds in so that hopefully i wouldn't hear those awful noises anymore and also hopefully would be able to go back to lucid dreaming. it worked i was able to go back to lucid dreaming maybe bc i hadn't stopped at all. anyway the music would become loud and then almost totally vanish until i would remember "hey this is a dream and u played music irl so why can't i hear it?" and it would come on again kind of like when u hear music in a mall or grocery store. not sure if it helped w the weird noises. at one point i went outside my house and lots of ppl were there and my mom was crying and she said sorry, he killed your cat or something and this big dude just looked at me and shrugged or something and i looked to my right and my cat was completely frozen in scared cat position w her tail stickin up but she didn't look dead bc she was standing like that just stuck so i was real confused and asked 'how?' and my mom said by drowning so ig then i saw some water around and inferred that her head was stuck in there but never looked close enough to check for sure. i started crying and bawling even tho i know it was just a dream and this hadn't actually happened. it felt as if tho i had to play a role or something and couldn't stop myself from doing it just like i couldn't break character and ask my brothers questions or anything. then i saw a lil kitty by mama cat and my bro and some other stuff happened regarding that but i don't remember. anyway the whole thing just had real weird vibes and im not sure why i couldn't move at some points and felt real stuck and heavy. the fact that i kept waking up falsely made me wish i had a totem like in inception. oh at one point i also started floating and went through a wall. somethings would not make sense but i would see them as completely normal except for the fact that i realized i was dreaming and something was rlly off. makes me wonder