Ross near drowning

Date: 10/10/2018

Obstacle course in the rainforest with underwater parts. Have to jump to grip holes in the walls and move along etc to get things (can’t remember what we were collecting). I jumped to one and had to lower myself down into the water to collect the thing, Ross was on the layer above me. He put his hands down into the water to pull me up I thought but as I gripped his hand he pulled then let go and pushed me down in the water. Every time I tried to swim up on my own he pushed me back deeper but kept offering his hands to pull me up and then push me down. Carried on till I was almost drowning. Went back on the boat after the course and other dc people there (Jemma and sabrene), I sat in the corner in upright foetal position thinking nobody would believe me and crying my eyes out and hyperventilating. Ross came back and tried to act normal I couldn’t stop crying. The officials kept asking me what happened and eventually I let it out and told the story. Ross denied it. Later on I go somewhere with my mum in the rainforest. It includes going through the forest on foot to get to a restaurant. I start to feel ptsd and tell her I can’t go through there. She asks why. I don’t want to say. Later back at home (old villa) she keeps asking and instead I give her my diary where I wrote everything down. Three (not real life)!traumatic events in all - all occurred this night in my dreams.