cupcakes and butterflies

Date: 1/3/2020

Ugh... In this dream, the common theme seemed to be... teenage pregnancy or something. Well, having kids in college. I don’t know, man. I remember being on a campus of some sort, and the weather was really nice. It was sunny with beautiful clouds and super green trees. I don’t remember the temperature, or even being outside. I think I was outside only once, and that might’ve been because I was... running, maybe? I could’ve been doing track, but it’s blurry. There were others with me. I mostly just remember getting a shot of the outside though, as if I was watching a soap opera or something... a show or whatever. I was single, without a baby. Phew, right? I think I was a student at whatever college that was. I believe I had one or two friends who I spoke to, a guy and a girl. I think the girl was a white brunette, and the guy was black. This will come back up in the future. Anyway, things got a little complicated when I started crushing really HARD on this brunette dude. Let’s call him... Derek. When I say hard, I mean hard. The reason why it was complicated, if I remember correctly, is because I flat out didn’t trust him. He gave me hardcore player vibes, but for some reason, despite him being a “player”, he liked me back. Like, a LOT. I wanted to be with him badly, but didn’t want to show it to him. This is kind of a side note, but figured it would be important for the translation of this dream. I was in my mom’s house at one point, eating a cupcake that tasted ridiculously good. I might’ve made it, because it didn’t taste store bought. My aunt was there, Auntie Joy. I also vaguely remember being outside and... doing track, maybe? Exercise with other girls? Reminded me of PE. Anyway... Soon enough, I see that one of my friends, the guy one, is outside with a backpack on... and he’s holding... a mixed baby. Of course, I’m thinking, “Wait, is that my other friend’s kid too? I didn’t know they were a thing. Wait, yeah I did. How did I miss the signs?” I wasn’t mad, just stressed. Besides, I didn’t even speak to him about it. I only got a shot of it, because as I mentioned before, it was like watching some show or something. Long story short, I’m in what looks to be a dorm room. It looked like a big hotel room though. Could‘ve been mine. I spent most of the dream in that room, but I forgot what I did. I only remember hanging out with my two friends there or whatever. Anyway, I’m with Derek. He kept expressing his desire for me, and trying to convince me to have sex with him and give in. I wanted to, really, but... I didn’t like the feeling I had about him being seemingly unreliable as a partner. I do remember getting major butterflies though. Jeez, I was insanely attracted to the dude. To have someone you like so deeply like you back with the same intensity can feel so GOOD and mutual. So, you know what I did? I gave in. I’m so smart, right? Right. Yeah. The scene instantly cut to me straddling him while he was laying on my bed, which was pretty huge for a dorm room bed. Had clean white sheets and everything, just like a resort or hotel bed. He was on his back, laying down. We were just casually talking back and forth about how I was being “stubborn” and about how I didn’t trust him, blah blah blah, and this was going down as I began to grind on him slowly. I remember it feeling really, really good. It was so relieving for me, since I was already aroused. The scene cut again, and I was the one laying on my back. The sheets were on me, and I suddenly felt even more good. Really good, man. Derek’s head came out from the sheets after a bit, so I’m assuming he was eating me out. My shirt was off by then, so he started playing with my breasts and squeezing them almost gently, even though they were still in a wired bra. They were kind of slipping out of the bra, so he began kissing and licking them. I remember saying things like, “Are you going to take advantage of me? You won’t rape me, will you?” It sounds dark, and this might be offensive, but... it was actually me... teasing him. It was turning us both on, the thought of him using me forcibly like that in bed. Man, that sounds lowkey so dark. Whatever. After that, we had a lot of sex. I remember it feeling so good. I know I keep repeating that, but that’s because I could literally FEEL it, as if it was real. The scene changed. It looked like it was the same day, but hours later. I was sitting on the bed, and there were two physical babies laying on it quietly. One was lighter skinned than the other. This will come up in the future too. For some reason, a black female college professor was in my room, and I remember her looking just like my dad’s sister’s good friend. This will also come up in the future. We’re talking and everything, and then we look down at the babies. Now, this might be difficult to explain, but they weren’t real. They were babies from the future, like a vision we could both see. We could physically touch them, but they were just models. Apparently, that was a sign that babies were coming, and I had already come to the conclusion by then that one of them was going to be mine and Derek’s, which was the lighter skinned one. Well, when we both looked down at the babies, we gasped. I realized something, and sort of yelled, “Oh my God, this baby’s darker!” It reminded me of the PROFESSOR’S skin color. So, one was mine, and we assumed the other was her’s. She said back, “You’re right... it looks like it’s... black.” I had this sinking feeling that it might also be Derek’s kid, and that he was going to end up having sex with that professor in the future. He “wasn’t mine to keep” though, so... I tried not to show how frightened and disappointed I was. Instead, I pretended to be really surprised and excited. The professor was in denial, when I told her it might be with a student. I was like, “Think about it. How does it feel to be a teacher here? Hmmm? How frustrating is it when students drop out and dump you? ...When they throw everything away, after all that hard work? Does it make you mad?” She slowly admitted to feeling that way, and that I was right. So, I made the point that because she was so stressed and frustrated, she might end up releasing that stress on a student. She was all giggly and stuff... but... I wasn’t happy at all. I felt like I could kill her, I was so angry. I wanted Derek to myself, but of course, I was only assuming the baby would be his. It was never confirmed. All that was confirmed was that he liked me and wanted to be with me. I forgot the rest of the dream. I woke up hot and heavy. Aroused, with mixed emotions. Jeez, Derek felt good. That’s all I remember for now. That’s it.