New Year’s with Roberto

Date: 8/14/2018

Roberto is in this dream (someone I have not seen or thought about in over a decade!). He has very long and beautiful blonde hair. He comes to visit upstairs from where I live and we are not allowed to see each other until the last day of the year. He is wearing the clothing you would wear to work on a farm (overalls, boots) although everything is very clean and pressed and his long blonde hair is also very clean and shiny and flows in the wind and sometimes covers his face. The families have agreed in that we can spend a few hours together at midnight and see the New Year arrive together. We leave close to midnight. I am wearing a black lace dress. Roberto is driving his pick up truck incredibly fast. He is very serious, almost rigid in his movements. I tell him he needs to relax. He looks my way a lot and tells me that he did not remember me being so attractive. He stops the truck and we go into a mall and we kiss and fool around a little, all of it lots of fun. He tells me he wants to make love to me and the desire is mutual but we don’t know if we should, being that we could only be together once a year on the last day of the year for a few hours. We go back and forth and find that it is time to go back and have missed our opportunity. When we get out of the mall it is very dark outside and the truck is nowhere to be found, but I know we are in Madrid and that there is a general workers’ strike. People are quietly in line (I don’t know for what) but the dark streets are full. They are mostly men and they are very nice to me and buy me coffee and tell Roberto that I am very pretty. We are asking for directions but the ones we are given are wrong and I finally remember a particular street in Madrid and we get home from there. Roberto has to pack and leave. Everything goes back to normal, he is upstairs and I am downstairs and we are not allowed to be with each other. I watch him leave, very serious as usual; at some point while going down the stairs that lead to the street, he turns and tells me that it was all worth it and that we should be together although we will never be, but he does wants to spend the few hours that we have at the end of each year with me and that next year he will be back to see me take off my black lace dress. I woke up crying I don’t know why...in real life Roberto is a figure from the distant past and not a very significant one. Because of the blonde hair I suspect he might have being a stand in for Julio.