T is sick

Date: 10/6/2018

I’ve had several dreams in the last few months about my son’s father/my ex boyfriend being very ill. *I can’t recall exactly when this dream was, probably several months ago. In the dream I was standing with the women of T’s family. I remember his mom and sister were there, and I can’t remember if his grandma (N) was there. They seemed to be crying, or trying to hold back tears, and someone sounded like they were getting choked up. I was reaching my arms out to them and saying “We all love him.” *In one dream, maybe a week or so ago, I took an elevator to the second floor. When I got off the elevator, T was standing there wearing a white suit. He looked extremely skinny, to the point where he appeared very ill. We went and sat down in a lounge area. We seemed to be discussing parenting in a civil manner, as if discussing something important as well. T was concerned that P was on a bus and he wouldn’t know who would pick him up. I told him to call his father and that he would pick him up. He did that. Then, grandpa T picked P up off the bus. I think we all went to a restaurant then (me, my parents and P; T wasn’t there). I can’t recall if grandpa T stayed to eat with us or left. *Last night, I dreamt that T sent me text messages. He was writing “N, I’m very sick. I have this sickness ____.” (It wasn’t clear what kind of sickness). He wrote “I love you” and put the lips emoji as if giving me a kiss. I think he may have wrote “Bye.” but I don’t remember. In reality, he struggles horribly with addiction. My worst fear is him succumbing to his addiction and either becoming very ill or, God forbid, passing away. Gosh I hope not, for his and my son’s sake. I will put this in God’s hands and try not to obsess/worry too much about it.