Lucidity

Date: 12/30/2017

Well this was a bit of a lucid dream. So I woke up from bed, then tried going to sleep again. I easily shifted into a dream! I was now aware that I was dreaming, and whenever I tried to imagine a different scenario it wasn't quite working. So what I did was, I lightly closed my eyes, visualised the scenario I wanted to be in and when I opened my eyes I was within that dream! At first I imagined flying and I was! The cool thing with lucid dreaming is that everything becomes so clear! It feels like real life, or very close to it. The vibrant colours, the sharpness of everything, it's amazing. Then I woke up. But it wasn't over just yet, I decided to lucid dream again! I layed still in my bed for about 30 seconds, then was somewhat dreaming but got myself into sleep paralysis. Sleep paralysis is definitely scary but I'm learning to control it, I just don't move and affirm myself positive mantras and thoughts. Sometimes negative thoughts will come up during sleep paralysis and that's okay, it's simply a temporary negative experience that you'll get through. But this time I was able to steer myself out of the negative experience and into a positive one. I've been on NoFap for a while now, and wanted to have a little fun in my dreams. I visualised having sex with my Spanish teacher, and that she was giving me a blowjob. Like at first, it didn't work. I then closed my eyes, visualised, opened my eyes, and voila! When I opened my eyes it wasn't quite like the Visualisation but it came true nevertheless. It was hard to focus on it for some reason, things got blurry and out of focus alot but I managed to hold the experience in place. I think she was using her hands and mouth to get me off, and it felt divine. Another thing I realised was that in my dreams, I've never ejaculated before. This was my first truly 'wet' dream. In the dreams, I'm not sure why but something always happens preventing me from ejaculating but this time, it happened. She started stroking me faster and it was a bit of a sloppy job. It wasn't long until I ejaculated, but only for 2 seconds. I suddenly woke up because as soon as I started cumming, I remembered that I was dreaming. After I woke up, I was a bit dissapointed in myself. This doesn't quite count as a relapse in NoFap but still, I should've considered the possibility of ejaculating in my wet dream and technically 'relapsing'. I want to retain my semen for the time being for spiritual and personal development reasons. Oh well, it wasn't too bad.