Date: 1/26/2017
By Anaujiram
I had nowhere to live, I was truly a homeless man. Suddenly, I found myself staying with this girl who's parents had died, so she lived with this fat old lady who wasn't very nice at all. She kept rubbing in the fact that her parents were dead, and kept yelling at her to come into the house for her to "school ya" because she "needed to be taught a lesson". I have no idea what happened in the house. I felt sorry for everyone involved in this arrangement, and just wanted everyone to be happy. So I hatched a brilliant plan; cook everyone a meal. That will cheer everyone up and bring us all together, right? Well, make a meal I did. I walked to this big oak tree in the middle of a field. It's roots were huge and sticking out of the ground. They formed little pockets you could sit in all around the tree. There were maybe six of them all around the tree. I decided this was where I was going to make my meal. So I gathered up a shit-tonne of various vegetables, and proceeded to fill up the spaces between the roots. I had practically every vegetable you could imagine. When I was done setting them out, I figured everyone would probably be late, so I covered them in grass cuttings to keep them fresh. Eventually everyone arrived. The guests included my entire family, the girl and the old fat lady. Everyone was genuinely estatic about the meal. They said it was one of the most delicious meals they've ever had, and couldn't believe how fresh it was. People were making various comments about it to me, and at one point my aunty asked me "Can you eat the grass clippings? Are they part of the meal?" I told her no, remove them first, they just keep it fresh. But she ate them anyway. I don't know if this cheered the fat old lady and the girl up. hopefully so.