It’s not my fault I’m depressed

Date: 5/28/2018

I’m at school my teacher who is a short really fat lady with thin black curly hair is yelling at me. I have missed weeks of school due to how bad my depression has become so she’s telling me that I won’t be able to do any work to bring up my grades. She walks away and I chase her to the crowded cafeteria trying to explain myself. I scream “ THE REASON I DIDNT COME IS BECAUSE I TRIED TO KILL MYSELF!”. She looks at me and says “ Why are you screaming in public about that?!” I responded with “It’s NO secret!” as everyone is literally staring at us. School is over now so I go to car pick up where my dad takes me back home and I explain everything to him. We arrive at home where I start crying and having a full on panic attack. ( I keep having dreams about school and they all end up with me crying or everyone hating me???)