Dream Journal Ultimate
Date: 1/31/2018
By Fitful
I was at some Hippie gathering in the woods and they were planning an orgy. This was a huge gathering and I was alone in the middle of it. Girls began standing to be picked for the girl orgy. It would be about 22 girls all having sex in a huge pile. There were an amazing variety of types of beauty. I watched as more and more girls went up and were picked. I think I felt the urge to go up as well, or someone said I should, but time was too self conscious. I didn't feel my body was good enough. I hung back, even though the urge to go grew stronger. In the end I never went up, just stood there wishing and feeling wretched. ~~~ I was living with my mom and brother again. He was back to being a child, young, a preteen I'm assuming. I think I was younger too, but still considered an adult. I cast a spell, as a joke, which made my mother split into two. Well sorta, she remained herself, well herself for that timeline, but her shadow side came out. Her shadow side was a dude, he was black, and they immediately began having sex in the bed, rolling about beneath the covers whilst me and Dragon (my brother) were still in the room. I hated him on principle of course. Mostly because he was a dude, and at that age I was already afraid of men, and more to the point I never did like mom's boyfriends. She netoriously had poor taste. But them having sex right in front of us was appalling. Dragon complained and hide his face, before ducking out of the room. He and I argued about leaving, he wanted them to have sex on his upper bunk bed so we could stay in the room but ignore them. I said they'd fall off, they were rolling around like crazy under the blankets, and the upper bed was only half a bed. So I took him out of there and we went to the cafeteria and maybe a museum. We had a good day. When we came back, mercifully they were done, but he was still there. I knew it was my fault he was there, I had cast that spell after all, but I wanted him gone. Instead he had presents for me. He game me a set of brown sheets. The room had been rearranged so there were three beds on the floor. My bed was the longest, as if I were very very tall even though I wasn't, and it stretched all the way down the hall. He was in the bathroom, preparing yet another present for me. I tried to refuse it but my mother shamed me into accepting. It was more sheets, all of them were the top sheet to a bed, never the fitted. The next one was green. I kept waiting for the black one, surely he'd try and give me my favorite color yes? But finally the next one came, and it was brown again. When I opened it, it turned into this luxurious warm brown blanket, think like a sheet, but soft on both sides, a faux velvet fur on one side and a fuzzy cloud on the other. He talked with me, about how he was very sorry I didn't like him, but he did like me and wanted to try and understand, get to know me. I felt incredibly uncharitable then, as if I had behaved poorly. I realized he really was all my mothers shadow side, the good and the bad stuff she hid away and rejected. Apparently that was a good guy. Maybe. I was still wary. ~~~ I was very far from home. I was several different people in the course of this dream. All of them traveled off world, and visited so many other worlds in the universe. All but one of them went back home. Finally only one was left, a girl who stayed away from home for eternity, not wanting to go back. Well she was young still, my age I guess, and I was her. On this other planet people came and went. I interacted with them, living with a family. The family had a mother and a little girl. I had a lot of stuff from earth, one of which was a cassette tape collection of talks about stuff which mattered to me. I think it was radical stuff, spiritual lessons. In some junk shop there was a tape player, the guy marveled when I said I had a tape to play in it. He called it a tablet, the tape, but told me it was worth a lot to sell to somebody. The little girl said we should give it to her mom. That her mom was stressed about her writing and it would help. I agreed and we cleaned off her mother's desk and set it up nicely with the tape player and paper and pens and things. ~~~ I was on the floor on my belly trying to write something important, a note for when I woke up, in ink. I don't know if I knew I was asleep. But the guy with me kept encouraging me, and gave me a small vat of Vaseline to make the ink in the pen run. I had been trying g to use various things to make the pen work to no avail. I kept wondering why they had no working pens here, apocalypse? ~~~~ I was wearing a hair or head piece. It was long and pretty, the top was red. It might have been native American or maybe African? I'm not sure, but it kept bothering me. It looked alright in the front but the back felt wrong. Finally I took it off and the whole back piece was matted. It looked terrible. ~~~ Someone was messing with my hair. It had been down and had a headband on it, and someone took that and flipped it up, styling it. When I looked in the mirror it looked as if it were abnormally high, the bend from the headband was sitting on top of my head like a crown, or like I was floating in water the hair stood on my head and around me. The stylists were beside themselves with joy, gazing in rapture at my hair, hands clapsed to their heart like gay guys do. I didn't think it looked very me but they assured me I looked amazing. ~~~ I was touring some ruins in some Roman ancient underwater places with what might have been a mermaid, or some land to water biological adaption. I never saw a tail, when underwater she was a glimmering mirage in the motion of the waves, female in form, green, beautiful. She was ethereal, ageless, ancient, and her voice sounded very far away, like from under a water grave. I was a young man, a conqueror, a Roman commander, and I might have also been myself tagging along watching beside him. The mermaid was giving a tour, which began out of the water in some white Roman temple as part of the ruins were dry. But she pulled a lever, or something, and suddenly we were under a deep ocean, like walking from one room to the next. She was decribing what these ruins were for, apparently this room was a torture chamber. She described what had been done to her, how each part of the room worked, how painful each torture was, all said in this disassociated, far off voice, which seemed in perpetual mourning. I was horrified, me as myself, but then I switched over to the Roman's point of view. He/I demanded to know how the chamber worked. The mermaid refused to tell him, stating it was now an ancient marvel, a museum piece, and she would never reveal the secrets of it's horror. He/I grabbed her and held her down, close to me, and cut my arm, my white blood spilled out over her skin. I threatened her with my immortality, telling her if she didn't tell me the secrets I would make her live forever with her pain. For some reason she seemed to seek death, waiting for it, so she would stop reliving the torture. I'm not sure if the 'reliving' was metaphorical or literal. I suspect it was literal, like she was daily pulled back in time to relive everything, hence the reason now she gave tours of the chamber, she was bound to it. The Roman thought it was a good threat to get the secrets from her, and it was. She capitulated in terror at the threat, thrashing fruitless beneath his heavy hand before giving in with alcerity. A ligitimate threat. He could have done it, the Roman. Apparently he was immortal.