In the car with * and the pastry trays

Date: 2/19/2024

I’m an adult but in a car, back right seat, with my brother, mother and *. It is night time and they are just driving around in a weird parking lot not far from my grandpa’s place so I’m like I don’t wanna take no bs, I can walk home and then I won’t talk and am just observing them. I feel disgusted by his simple presence. Then we get home at my grandparents’ - my brother, mother and I and I am super mad at my mother, like super super mad and she makes me feel guilty for mire acting or misbehaving like usual. So I tell her something random very seriously “he’s falling down the stairs soon, right? Good”. Like I mean it. And I forget what she replies and then I day “gotta make sure he falls down HIS OWN stairs!”. Then I go to the bedroom and there’s my late cat Giuditta on the bed and she comes get cuddles while I still speak to my mother in front of 3 trays of pastries. I go brush my teeth or something, come back and basically all the pastries are gone. So I ask where they gone and she’s like “oh we ate them all, we didn’t know you wanted some!” and like on the couch my brother and cousin are having them and apparently everyone had a bunch for themselves and I’m just left with a few. And I feel left cut out. I feel worthless and undeserving. My mother tries to say something like “there were just a few” and respond very venomously on the line of shut your face there were 3 platters and you left me the shittiest ones. And they are really shitty. So I get even more mad and stop talking to anyone and just burn inside.