A brief embrace.

Date: 9/28/2016

After a friend passed away my depression hit a new sky high, my suicidal tendencies that she was able to keep at bay, at peace within myself reached close breaking points recently. However. Every time I dream it's a chance to see her, to feel her and say I miss her, the craziest part about my dreams is she is in them randomly. Sometimes it's like we're together, sometimes it like we're playing music, sometimes it's like a final goodbye... But I can't let go, and everytime I dream of her my heart gets a little weaker, yet a little lighter. This dream was one of the most random I've seen in a long time, it was just old memories, I was taken into each one on some bus thing. It was easy, and somewhat quiet. I was watching harsh and horrid memories from my childhood, even one I couldn't remember, but seemed so familiar. Then she showed up a couple seats behind me. I got up and sat down next to her. She might've said something but I didn't make it out. I just remember that beautiful smile on her face, the tears I cried in the dream and in real life... She was a kind soul, and an amazing person.. When you heard her talk it made you smile inside and out, but when she sang... She could stop the world in its tracks. I remember I was gripping onto her, clinging really. The tears fell onto both her and I, but she was still smiling, her hand on the back of my head, and the other on my shoulder. A brief embrace to help me piece myself together. After that I walked away, sat back down a seat in front of her, and we watched the memories of everything I had. I would've like to stay by her side for all of it, but sometimes you don't get what you want. Luckily things like this have kept me going, along with the support of friends of course. But I can't say I don't wait for the day when it's no longer a dream...