The Jeff Bezos Toe Jam Face Lift

Date: 2/22/2025

I just woke up from a weird dream. My Wife had signed us up for “an appointment.” I went downstairs to wait on her to finish getting ready and there was a man in our house who resembled the guy from “Trailer Park Boys” with the coke-bottle glasses, only he had on a motorcycle jacket and had a guitar. There was something mentally off about him. He asked me where the bus stop was. I told him T.R.I.P.S. picks up across the street and he left. I walked to a new store that had just popped up next door and it looked like a fancy boutique with fancy purses and clothes. The huge Chandelier catches your eye through the large oversized windows before you enter. I go in and I hear a sales lady telling a customer that “this purse costs $400, and you can come in and pay it in increments of $100 payments if that sounds better for you. Now, you won’t want to be taking this purse out to the bar on a Friday night…” I see two older women enjoying a morning of shopping and they were laughing quite a bit, so I apparently thought it might be fun to climb into one of the clothes rack and scare one of them when they come around. Just as she flipped open the hanging garments I made a loud noise. She laughed. And then she climbed into the rack with me to scare her friend. It was getting a little awkward, just hanging out with a stranger inside of a clothes rack, so I bailed. Next I meet my daughter at “the appointment,” but my Wife wasn’t there yet. We were in like a facility of some sort. There was a nurse telling my daughter that “if you want to do what I do, you have to go through training. And you know pretty quickly who is at the top of your class…” I still had no idea why we were here, so I took a seat to wait for my Wife. Then a kind gentleman in a lab-coat looking shirt rolled up to me and pulled out one of those things that Doctors use to look in your eyes, ears, and nose. Only he presses it to my skin, right below my left eye, but closer to the bridge of my nose and says in a calming voice, “I’m just going to drill through the skull” and begins drilling (apparently there is a bit attached to the end of this thing and I can see pieces of bone dust flying into the air! It didn’t hurt that much. It was a tiny hole. The man then turned and left the room to go get something. My Wife finally arrives and I said, what did you sign us up for?! She said it is called, “The Jeff Bezos Toe Jam Face Lift?” I said, “Did you know they drill a hole into your face?!” She shook her head no and then said with a half smile, “I don’t know if I want to do it then.” She said it was either this or some other cosmetic procedure. I responded, “Or it’s called aging gracefully! 😂” Needless to say, I was not going to go through with this. So many thought were rushing through my head! Were they going to stick wires into this tiny hole? Where does the toe jam come into play? Then I had thoughts of some archeologist in the future digging up my remains and wonering why this ancient human being had a tiny hole drilled into his skull. Then Shanon’s alarm went off and I woke up.