Dark Side of the Moon

Date: 9/4/2019

I dreamt that I went to the moon in a spaceship with a group of people, but not professional astronauts. We all had spacesuits on, and when it came time to disembark the vessel for the first time, my whole body seized up immediately. We had landed on the moon and it was such a surreal feeling; I felt completely claustrophobic in my suit. All I could think of was that if I left the space ship, my suit would fail and I would suffocate, or that I would fly off into the darkness after a misstep. In theory, there is enough gravity to keep you tethered, but in this moment, in this reality, did I really want to test that out? I felt panicked and clammy, looking out the window at the darkness around and feeling truly isolated, trapped, being so far from Earth. Far from anything and everything that’s ever happened in history. I felt alone, and the weight of the darkness, isolation, and lack of assurances left me feeling dizzy and out of control. The feeling was comparable to the vertigo that you experience looking down from a great height, but instead of looking down, I was afraid of falling up into the void. I woke up clinging onto my pillow.