Vibe check

Date: 12/1/2019

There was an instagram post with different leaked pictures of people and their gpa’s from high school. I was the first picture, it was a fairly ugly picture even with just the top half of my face and a weird center part and flattened hair like I used to wear it when I was extremely socially anxious and ocd with it. It had a comment under each picture with just the gpa and mine said 1.51. Mine was low, a 3.0 I think maybe 3.1 or 3.2 I can’t remember but it wasn’t 1.51 low and I think that’s my low self esteem and my view of what others think of me showing, same with the but anyways. Then I swiped to the others pictures and there was model looking picture of my ex friend with her high gpa below. I swiped some more and there were various people there with different model status or sad and ugly pictures of different people. Then I got a call from her asking me if I wanted it removed. I was so surprised she called me about it and that she cared. I think I pleaded or something for her to take it out and she said she would and I was crying and everything. So basically I’m terrified people will find out who I really am and my opinion of myself is shit but with a hint of reality. Also why is it that my nightmares are usually suuuper realistic and maybe lucid and very rare but my regular dreams are so odd like...they’re so abstract but also I love it about them they’re so interesting and weird. My nightmares though, they really fuck with me.