I’m a nature princess, and I hate it

Date: 10/8/2019

I had this dream where basically I was this kind of nature princess / angel. And basically the whole point was to have a true heart, to be innocent, blah blah blah, but this one huge thing was that nature princesses/fairies attracted all kinds of life (bugs, arachnids, animals, plants) wherever they went, and had a strange connection to life as well. They had powers like they could levitate, and their smiles immediately spread like yawns do. And of course, they could talk to animals and plants, as well as summon them. I dreamt I was at my house, like normal, and I went outside and there was this nature princess/fairy who was corrupted. She secretly just wanted power. I told her to stop and that she was being evil, she tried to kill me because I found out she wanted the power, but then this dude in a suit shows up and stops her. He seems to be another nature prince(ss)/fairy, but more powerful, like the leader or something. He tells her he’s gonna take away her powers because she misused them, and she asks what he’s gonna do with the power. He says in reply, “I’ll give it to this true-hearted girl behind me, whom you tried to attack.” And that’s how I got my powers. Except I didn’t really want them. After he gave them to me I realized it meant that I couldn’t kill any life whatsoever, because I could talk to it. I wasn’t afraid of getting the powers taken away or anything: I’d just feel suuuper bad if I killed a spider that could talk to me, I guess because everything seemed so much more... I guess alive, or so much more like people. And the problem was that that meant there was bugs all over my house. Spiders were clustered in my shower when I tried to take a shower and I wanted to be scared/grossed out, because they were huge, but at the same time they were just chillin and we talked and I was polite to them and everything. Also, I couldn’t walk anywhere because plants would grow wherever I stepped and that meant I was always cracking the cement, because grass would grow through it to get to me and it would crack up the sidewalk. And I nearly got arrested several times because technically that meant I was ‘defacing public property’ or something, since my powers were causing it. Not to mention I felt a sense of responsibility on my shoulders that was unbearable; creatures would come to me for my council or my help, and I felt I couldn’t refuse since I had been given these powers to help and I didn’t want to seem ungrateful or rude. Again I wasn’t scared of getting the powers taken away; I just have this hero complex where I NEED to be a nice person, and so since I could now talk to and was asked to help so much more, I felt as if I had to or I would feel bad and be a bad person. I remember I literally didn’t shower (in the dream) for a week because I didn’t want to have to ask the spiders to move their webs. Then it got to the point where I was so stinky that bugs were asking to live on me / in my hair so I had to ask them to get out. And of course they were chill with it but I still felt bad. Also I had to be so so careful with every move after that; I couldn’t instinctively swat at a bug near my face, I had to make sure I didn’t step on any bugs either because they were always flocking to me, and if I ever saw a deer on the road who had been hit by a car or something I had to drop what I was doing and help it. It made me feel so bad (in the dream) that I was gifted with awesome powers and whatever but I still saw the powers as an inconvenience and, at times, even hated having the powers. I thought about how so many people would die for the powers I had, and how I was just acting like a spoiled brat for not wanting them. I also felt bad because why wouldn’t I want to help other people? If I was truly ‘good-hearted’ as the fairy-man has said when he gave me the powers, then I would WANT to help everyone/everything, I wouldn’t want to complain about it. I thought, maybe he chose the wrong person to give these powers to, but then at the same time I didn’t want to call him dumb or question his judgement. It was kind of a miserable dream, but in a more realistic way than my other dreams.