Don't settle, don't let others sway you.

Date: 5/6/2022

I'm traveling, there's a contest or a race and I'm trying to get it done. Maybe a treasure hunt? Anyway I jump on a truck, one of those big moving goods trucks, and I befriend a guy the driver. He points out something in some factory off the highway. We stop there so I can run in, get something or get something fine for the contest. Apparently this factory is very wealthy. They find ways to ads to their wealth. Magazines, little disseparate streams of income to all feed the whole. So they are loaded. Meaning the staff/and or customers wear armani and are rude. Did I mention the dude with me, and the staff, are British. So there's a hint of British humor there. They - the staff or just really well dressed customers - stop us - me and my companion the trucker and ask him if his willy is happy. He stammers a yes and they ask again. Its easy to extrapolate they want him to stay it is, then maybe say something embarrassing. He stammers and hasn't really caught on to the fact he's being bullied, deer in the headlights thing. But I do and I shove the dapper guy into a seat off the asile and say something about his mother should have pulled him over her knee more. I toss a loose pacifier at him, one that was discarded on the floor. The trucker, my friend, grabs me and hustles me away quickly. Worried they might retaliate. But I'm steaming mad. I let him and they don't come after me, too in shock over what I did. ~ There was a guy living or staying in a tiny room, like a hotel room. I was put in there too, I think we were there for a contest or something. Maybe. There was a place, a Victorian house, full of ladies, nosey busy body ladies who gushed over women's things. I don't recall else why we were in the vicinity. But he was tired. Slept. There was only one thin bed. I waited for it, eventually he got up and we decided to run to the dollar store, get food. I had no money, not being paid for 3 more days, so he was nice said he'd get it. We ended up in a grocery store instead. It was cute. There was a hotel or room for rent right in the grocery store. I was thrilled and wanted to live there. We left the grocery looking for the dollar store still. I'm not sure why. Time passes, in the same place and with the same people. He and I get into a relationship, then break up more than once. The old ladies in the Victorian are busy bodies and accept me briefly for a while. I think I might live there with them, be part of their hen lime coven. Meh. Frills and pastels everywhere. But I periodically find I'm not suited to it. For one, he and the want me to have children. I'm supposed to have three eggs. I'm not the child rearing sort. So I cave, have them, then don't take care of them leaving them to nannies and the marriage falls apart. And then time reverses and I don't have kids. I reach a few places where he finds me the kind of woman he wants again. When I'm overly compassionate and spiritual, healing, is when he is happy with me again. But I'm way more than that, worth way more than that, and I can't be with Jim only based on a sliver of who I am. Later I go back in the grocery, and find clues. Its on the hush hush but people promised me information. I wanted to get my man an anniversary present. But instead I get advice that I won't find a partner in the USA. I need to go outside the country to find people who want what I want. Who want the unique lifestyle and relationship dynamic that I want.