Dream Journal Ultimate
Date: 6/19/2019
By wakeup4makeup
I started practicing lucid dreaming after failed attempts to ignore feelings I had developed for someone. I knew I couldn’t be with him for various reasons, and since I was already dreaming about him, I figured lucid dreaming could act as a sort of double life. Controlling my dreams with this person would allow me to live out my desires for him. And it worked pretty well. A little too well. I’m not sure if it was directly related to the dreams, but every time I saw this person, I started getting signals from him that he may have felt something for me too. My various reasons for not being able to pursue him became less clear because this alternate reality in my dreams started to play in my mind while I was awake. Day dreaming took on a life of its own, as I had created a backlog of dreams to reference. I had confidence I had gotten enough signals from him to say something, despite obvious reasons we couldn’t be together. All the same, this feeling was eating away at me and I either needed confirmation from him that it was mutual, or a good dose of rejection so I could figure out how to move on. The latter seemed extreme, because I swore I was picking up on signals from him. Historically I have been very keen to pick up on these signals. Needless to say I finally confessed to him. It didn’t go well. He seemed (albeit not completely) genuine about not sharing the same feelings and seemed completely surprised by mine. And this is where I bring up the caution. I have never in my life been so one sided about feelings for someone. Usually my feelings develop in a somewhat mutual fashion. There are many differences between this instance and others, but by far the biggest difference was my pursuit of this lucid dream life. I really do think it skewed my reality. So take care of your mind, folks. Remember it’s a slippery slope to fall into believing your dreams to be reality.