I’m in a cinema with my year from secondary school. My friend Joe is ahead of me, I shout ‘head down please’ as a joke. The movie comes on, it’s a bad animated art comedy, Halfway through I realise I’m pretending to laugh. It’s uncomfortable. Soon I’m in Manchester town centre, it’s a cook your own cookie event. There’s also beer. It’s busy and I tell myself I should be having fun, I bump into my friend Danny, he seems relaxed and in control. I put my cookies in and ask some dumb questions that Danny and his sad judge me for. I find myself in a gym, In with a guy I used to know, Danny S. We’re standing on a steep gym mat. For some reason Danny starts a drill, I watch him as he runs in a little circle down and back up the slope, then doing a squat to finish. He jumps on to his back to rest. It’s my turn to try, strangely the matt seems a lot steeper now. I can more or less do it but it feels uncomfortable. I get frustrated and ask myself why am I doing this.