Boyfriend leaving me

Date: 3/27/2017

By ivielee

Me and Jason were arguing at a coffee shop by a yoga class and they were doing intense yoga and I was like oh I was gonna sign up for that there's no way I could do that and Jason is joking around and goes next to Allie Michelle (a girl that I look up to who does yoga and is really pretty and posts on Instagram) and her face looks worried like she's gonna fall while doing a handstand and I get upset at him because I really like her so we go and get drinks and sit down and she comes up to us and I tell her that her handstand was really amazing and she just rolls her eyes and looks at me like I'm pathetic and says hi to just him and starts flirting with him and touching him and I'm just watching and he just blushes and laughs and I remember in my dream she was gorgeous her skin was glowing and her hair was so long and blonde and her smile was so radiant and bright and they keep flirting and she asks him out and he says yeah and I'm just sitting there not believing what's going on so I grab my things and get up and they don't even look twice but before I walk out the door I look at them to see if they'll notice and he just looks at me then laughs so I run out and I'm lost looking for my car and I was climbing out of these weird tunnels to get to the streets behind these kids like at kid space and I hated it and my legs hurt and I was asking people to help but I just took deep breaths and climbed out and was out on the streets at night looking for my car and I found it but it was super small like a go kart for some reason so I strapped my stuffed animals to myself and put on my jacket and backpack because there wasn't anywhere to put it and got in the car and some guys were walking around me and tried talking to me so I drove off really fast and tried calling Cami but she wouldn't pick up because I wanted to tell her what happened and I ended up at another restaurant for some reason and Jason and Allie were there with another guy I'm assuming one of her friends laughing and they noticed me and it was weird someone was like interviewing them and everyone in the restaurant was watching and she was saying some kind speech about him and he was saying one about her and how he knows she's special and all this specific stuff that I can't remember now but when I dreamt it I remember it hurt so bad and I tried recording it on my phone to show my sister but it didn't work and the piano that was playing in the background accidentally played on my phone and at the end of his speech to her he grabbed her and kissed her so I got up to leave and they were both laughing at me and Jason said something like are you serious/you're disgusting/how can you just walk away and I turned around so angry and sad and said a whole speech about how I'm sorry that I gained weight after the pregnancy and abortion because I got sober and was depressed and that I don't look like Allie and went up to her and said sorry I'm not skinny with blonde hair and blue eyes and the whole restaurant was listening and watching and I ranted about how she just walked up and started flirting with him and I didn't think he would ever hurt me but he just ignored me and ran off with her and then I woke up with a horrible gut feeling of sadness because in my dream he looked at her in a way he never looked at me like he was waiting for someone like her an excuse to leave me and I literally felt his attraction to her when he smiled at her and I remember in my dream when I walked out the coffee shop I felt so fucking fat like an ugly piece of shit who didn't deserve any happiness at all fuckkkkkk this dream man I don't know what it means but fuck it