Long, Scary, End of the World Dream

Date: 1/30/2022

This dream took place on my college campus and in my college dorm mostly. I don’t remember how it starts out but apparently my dad is this Nazi leader and starts a new world war. Now I do t think he actually is in the dream (more on that later) and I just share his name, but everyone starts to disown me. The world starts to drift into apocalypse and so I start to put plans together to take my gear and live in the mountains and forest until later notice. As I’m doing that I start going around campus to try and say goodbye to people. I go to the gym and there are two my of best friends there, I walk in and grab a mask when the staff kick me out, one of my friends yelling at me and the other not noticing me at all. This hurts a lot. All I wanted to do was say goodbye but I couldn’t. I fall on the ground outside the door and start uncountable my twitching and seizing, laughing with anger, sadness and vengeance. Now I head back to my dorm and on the way take in the situation. Kids preparing for the apocalypse, some of whoms families have come to help them pack up and leave. One kid is shoveling an absurd amount of weed bud into his blue truck lol. The sun is going down, it’s almost night. The inside of the dorm buildings is deteriorating quick, kids are in a panic and all are scared of me for some reason. I get to my room and my parents and younger brothers are there. They said they came to have one last dinner with me before we go. I was so excited to go and leave with them. While the were setting the table I quickly ran to the bathroom but when I left the bathroom they were walking down the hall leaving, both my parents crying. I knew I wasn’t going with them all of a sudden. I hugged them and they went on their way. I watched them drive away from the window in my room. I was feeling the same emotions early but even more so now. Anger, profuse sadness, guilt (for what too) and laughter. I again seized up and starting twitching, laughing the whole time. My mental state was deteriorating. I was becoming violent, non rational, and worst of all a threat to others and myself even if I couldn’t recognize it now. I cried a lot. Then this one girl who I kinda like but we’re also friends shows up. She says she’s gonna help eat the dinner my family left behind and then pack up and meet me a rendezvous point later to head into the mountains and live off the land. It sounded great, to have someone I could trust again. I went for a walk around campus again. It was dark, it didn’t feel like the sun would rise up again. Buildings on fire, anarchy. Death and blood everywhere. Yet people were scared of me. They fled from me. I never felt in danger though. I think I couldn’t recognize the danger in myself. On my way back to the dorm, the locking doors are no longer locked, many lights flickering or out. I returned to my dorm and pack up a backpack, then leaving the apocalyptic dorms and walking up a hill to the rendezvous point. I wait for a while, but it becomes apparent she isn’t coming. Again, I loose it, laughing and twitching while also angry and sad. But then a new thought comes in, “good for her”. Good for her for escaping, escaping for the danger. I quickly forget about that though. I’ve gone insane whether I know it or not. That’s why everyone was afraid of me, and my family left, friends left. Then I meet this other boy, similar to me, he’s pretty crazy too but I feel safe around him, I don’t think we recognize the danger we each pose. As a testament to our craziness we start taunting and running from a guard dog, occasionally getting bit by it. Then my brother appears. He hangs with us but I start having a break from my mental illness and feel the need to tell him to go, leave, get away from me, I’m crazy and not safe to be around. However I don’t get the chance to before the dream ends. This whole dream was so crazy detailed and visually stimulating, quite horrifying to be honest. The seizing falls of laughter were definitely tell tale signs I was going nuts but I couldn’t recognize it. And after I couldn’t say bye to my first two friends, my family left, and other friend left I felt some of the most real sadness and anger and yet I was laughing. I think instead of calling this dream am descent into an apocalypse I would call it a descent into mental illness. A loss of reality.