Laying in the room with the round ceiling

Date: 9/2/2019

I have this deep, uneasy feeling. I lie on my back on a queen sized bed with white sheets, staring up at a brown and white ceiling with curved tiers in the design. There's another person here with me, a boy about my age with dark hair. He's in the bed next to me. I feel like it's not our choice to be here together, though we both get along well. I know too well that I've just been forced to have sex with him for probably the millionth time while the scientists watch us like lab animals. I'm a captive here in the way that I can't leave on my own volition. I think I'm being abused by some kind of organization that's got too much money and power for anyone to want to stop. But it's much more boring than that. It's just bland and hopeless. The building is styled like a dated 1980s office building and I'm led around catwalks with two men that are significantly older than me and in a position of control. I have this feeling that they just leave me in different rooms for someone new to fuck. The worst part is I've stopped caring and I'm just numb to it now. I try to convince myself I enjoy it, and there's a weird sort of comfort in it at this point. Everything seems like a worn photograph and I just want to be held by someone.