Crutch

Date: 7/8/2017

In my dream last night, she was there again. Anyways, in reality I'm a photojournalist by trade, and I work for the Air Force. Well, for some reason in my dream, my shop and I were told that we were going on a temporary trip, known as a TDY. I got ready for this TDY without packing or worrying about wearing any makeup since I don't really wear it anymore. I remember being there in this dream, and meeting many in this new shop. It dawned on me that She was going to be there, with them, and that I hadn't actually seen her for over two years...I was anxious and I think I kept avoiding her. I saw glimpses of her as she was with her friend, who was helping her to walk along on her crutches. She looked as if she was in a lot of pain and my heart just felt so strongly. I wanted to talk to her, to be near her, everything. I was definitely in love with her. But I was too scared to approach her, so I waited. Eventually she got around to saying hello, and I gave her a hug but I held that hug for several seconds longer than is standard of friendship. I hated that I did that because we're both just supposed to be friends and that's it. We aren't supposed to be anything else. I think she could probably tell that I still had feelings for her. I looked away and when she said "look at me, why won't you look at me?" I turned my back on her and I began to walk away. She shouted out my name as if telling me to wait, but she was too weak to follow me. Suddenly, I felt terrible and so I came back to her and told her I was sorry, that I didn't feel I was pretty enough or ready to be talking to her. That I was nervous because it had been so long since I'd seen her face. That I'd never been around her with all the history we now had between us. I wanted to tell her that I was still in love with her, but I was married and I couldn't. At some point in time, I fell into this little pond accidentally and there were two mountain lions who picked up that I was there, hunted me down, and then it was game over. I died. That's all I remember.