the loml

Date: 5/7/2018

it happened again. I woke up sadly, everything about the dream seemed so real. but you wouldn’t know what I’m taking about, let me tell you. him. it’s him. no matter what my friends say, it’s him. he’s the one that I want, need ALL of that. but... he’s moved on. but that doesn’t matter, right? he’ll always be mine right? That’s what I thought as I saw him in the halls. he looked blankly at me like he’s seen a ghost. that makes me wonder, so we are both just looking at each other, with a blank look on our faces. finally he comes up to me. I was having a bad day and was crying earlier, so my eyes were red and puffy. he looks worried. he asks “are you ok? you don’t seem like your doing fine.” I tell him “yeah everything will always be fine, I’ll get through it” my eyes start to get watery so I turn to walk away before he can tell me that I’m not. but he grabbed me by my arm and hugged me. wow. it was the good ones. the ones he gave me when he hasn’t seen me all week type hug. oh wait but we aren’t together. I start to cry. he makes me feel safe. real safe. at this point I’m hugging him the tightest ever, not wanting to let go. but I look up and his girlfriend is watching us. I pull away. he asks “what are you doing?” I said “Your girlfriend is right there, I don’t wanna start anything.” he looks annoyed, “I really don’t care about her, I’ll go end it with her right now, I want it to be just me and you.” my heart drops. my heart is saying yes but my mind is telling me no. I start to speak but before I say anything he kisses me. wow. it brings it back to when we were at the movies, and he kissed me. everything was perfect right there. time stopped. it was just me and him. then I woke up. why did I have to wake up?