Toilet Tokens

Date: 8/30/2023

Zephyr and I were at another sort of cruise (continuing my cruise dream saga, I see…). We were wandering around the unusually lavish-looking ship when I found a sort of shop that sold something weird. I had found a set of four tokens that were supposed to work with any of the bathrooms on-ship. They basically served as entertainment while on the pot by interacting with the projections and such in the restrooms. I decided I wanted them. I forked over my $145 for a four pack and thanked the salesperson before slowly wandering away, taking a close look at the tokens in the packaging. The tokens themselves looked and acted like a watch face. The needles were gold, and so were the Roman numerals they were pointing to. Two of the tokens had white marble faces, and two of them bad black marble faces. The rim of all four was also gold. They looked pretty cool, and truly told the time, but the sleek design was ruined by the cartridges they seemed to be glued into. The ugly grey cartridges reminded me of the PS1 memory cartridges, except they were wider, and much thicker, perhaps a 3” by 3” by 1” block. The cartridge clips onto some sort of receiver with the seal going over the receiver to prevent water from getting in. Once I had gotten the tokens out of the box, I showed Zephyr what I got. They didn’t seem to understand what they were, or at the very least wasn’t interested, so I gave up on them and walked away, wanting to try out one of them. Except, I didn’t want to hog the restroom with no reason to do so, so I ended up just placing them all. I walked into the restroom that was right next to the tiny reception desk-sized shop that I bought them at and placed one of the white marble cartridges into the recurved that was a little to the right and down from the toilet. It was angled at a forty-five degree angle for convenience. The restroom was basically shaped like an outhouse, and had a sink like an airplane does. I suppose it would be relatively comfortable to stay in for a bit considering the lack of smell and frequent cleanings. Upon plugging in the cartridge, the room glowed with neon or black lights. I thought it was cool, but would return later for my first try. I place the other three toilet tokens in other bathrooms on the ship, bathrooms that I would likely frequent. I don’t know how I came to this realization, but eventually I realized those toilet tokens were supposed to be for personal use only. They were a sort of new tech that only few were available and/or paid for. I was providing free entertainment to gross strangers. Upon realizing this, I frantically went back to recover my tokens. But somehow, the receiver was IN the toilet, which meant you had to stick your hand in a disgusting, fecal-filled toilet bowl to get them out. I was absolutely pissed. The tokens were covered in human feces. Not very much, but even a little is still disgusting. I wrapped the token in something like a paper towel and went to recover the other three. Now that I knew what I was supposed to do with them, I would put them in my personal toilet in my stateroom. I was the only one allowed to play games on the toilet with my toilet tokens.