Not yours, never yours

Date: 1/16/2018

I’ve dreamt about a guy I like a couple times, he’s 9 years older than me and I can never be with him but that doesn’t stop dream us from being together. The first dream I had of us goes like this, I had gotten kicked out of my house and didn’t have anywhere to go but he found me wandering the streets and invited me into his house. He set boundaries, he gave me a curfew, he treated me like a kid. One day we went out grocery shopping and as we were walking he let me hold his hand, which led to me latching onto his arm. That silent gesture was our consent of us being in an (illegal) relationship. Dream me was terrified though because police kept driving by us as we were walking. After the quick stop for groceries I woke up. Now, round two of this dream is a lot less love and more lust. We were in my childhood bedroom and he was fixing my window. All of a sudden he stops fixing my window and pushes me down on the bed. He climbs over me and whispers in my ear, “I’m sick of using my hands for fixing, I want to put them to good use and use them on you.” His calloused hands ran up and down my body, slowly. More dirty whispers in my ear “your jailbait, you know that though don’t you baby? Whose gonna take care of you if I’m in jail?” He kissed me for the first time in my dreams and after that was when the dream ended.