Psychedelic retreat

Date: 8/3/2022

I'm with Alex swimming in crystal blue waters that have these big white rocks underneath the surface. There is a white wall stretching into the water that creates a bay. I swim near it with Alex mentioning that I am afraid of the sharks in the water. Funny enough, I don't actually see any sharks but I'm nervous about kicking my feet in the water and splashing around. I climb up onto the wall which has these low metal fences along either side. They're only maybe four or five inches tall and there's only about enough room for me to walk through the center of them along the narrow wall. As I'm walking, I hear a whistle and a woman calls the swimmers in the water and supposedly me in. I can't see her and don't know who she is. Regardless, I follow her into a building where it's no larger than a reception area and all of us try to fit in. She asked that we all put our cell phones in this little cabinet built into the wall. It has a very small door and it appears to be a little storage area much like a cabinet under the staircase. I'm not even sure that I can see inside of the cabinet enough to get my phone in purse back if I need it. She's only giving us 10 seconds to do it and I go incredibly over the limit as I've let everyone else go before me. I'm thinking that there's somewhere else I need to be and I'm not sure that I'm actually meant to be part of this group. Out of sight, the woman starts asking us about our dreams and the symbolism we've seen in our dreams. She asks if we're "decent sized" people. Two of the other people here are girls about my age and we respond that we think that we're decent sized enough. I mean we were all around maybe 5' 4" to 5' 7". The other girls here seem kind of spacey in how they talk as if they're slightly high. Finally, after going through everyone else, the woman leading the group gets to me and asks about the symbolism that I've seen in my dreams, especially recurring symbolism. I'm interested because I realize that I have them all written down on my phone and ask if I can get it to read it off to her. She isn't initially receptive to it. It seems like she's subtly suggesting that I don't go after my phone. I feel like I'm kind of bending the rules by trying to reach for it anyway, though I'm still not sure if I'm part of this group. The woman leading us eventually loses interest in my quest for my phone and asks me what the symbolism again. Funny enough, she's still slightly out of view and I haven't had a good look at her. I told her that I saw a Sergio, an old friend I'd had a falling out with (much to my own internal pain), in my dreams for the first time in maybe two or three years. I also think about how I saw a half dome of fire. There was more but I swear that it was written down on my phone with my dreams. I'm still not entirely certain this is where I have to be. I want to be here but I don't feel prepared. Maybe I didn't sign up at first but I know this is where I have to be. However, even looking at what I'm dressed in, it's not as expected. I wasn't swimming in a bathing suit, I realize as I look down. I realized I'd gone swimming in my underwear and a sports bra and the bathing suit was still in my small suitcase. I realize I haven't even packed enough underwear for this trip, but I needed to stay. The woman starts talking about how native people in Puerto Rico were open to this kind of gathering because of the ceremony. It was the ritual around it. I quickly realized that she's talking about a psychedelic retreat. This is exactly where I needed to be. She garhers us up and start to walk elsewhere. As we move to a new place, she instructs us to follow her through a tunnel. A woman to my left comments about how the people around her are always trying to outdo someone else but the people who consistently outdo themselves only get better and better and better. She seems almost frustrated by the idea that they constantly win by out doing themselves as she's relentlessly competing against others to her own detriment. There are two or three tall trees growing out of the concrete track before it goes down into a tunnel. I realize this would be excellent to do with my roller derby skates and remember how good it feels to just move fast. It's easy to feel myself like this. I'm not really wearing them and I'd like to get them but now I'm aware of my need for constantly using another item as an excuse to be prepared or excited for something. I passed another guy who was to the front and right of me who had dreads. I was using my legs like springs to push off of the concrete and go faster and faster down the tube. I feel alive. The tunnel lets us out of this kind of flea market where a little girl is and her mother have a small craft stand. The little girl has made earrings that look like snakes and put so much work into them. I think about getting a pair for myself and a pair for my mom. The girl seems elated. I realize my mom doesn't really like snakes so maybe I'll just get a pair for myself. I also realized that my mom would love the ceramic frog piggy bank that I got for myself (in waking life). I'm happy at the thought of giving it to her. This was in a grassy area kind of like where I went to the antiques fair in lafayette. I walked back to where the group is and we get inside an unusually shaped vehicle. The area we sat in was like the back of a pickup truck if the bed was covered and opened into a narrow standing area right behind the cab. Everyone else was sitting underneath the covered bed and I'd moved to the back where there was room to stand. However, there was only room for really one person. I looked out of the narrow slots in the wall looking over the bed under which everyone else was sitting. I felt incredibly claustrophobic at the idea that someone else would try to come through the back and felt like I almost couldn't breathe. If another person had come to stand in the back, I wouldn't have room to even move my shoulders and any additional people coming into the bed I was sure would trap us without relief.