A moose is loose in my home

Date: 8/5/2017

By pretzeling

It was winter, and my backyard was blanketed in snow. A female moose ran around my kitchen as I desperately tried to wrangle her. She knocked into me, and my new white shirt (which i had just spilled spaghetti sauce on IRL the day before) became smeared with her blood. Eventually I was able to run her out the back door. She galloped into the snow and gave birth to a small baby calf, splattering the fresh snow with blood. Despite the blood, she did not seem weak or injured. I watched from a window as she somehow picked up her baby, intelligently opened up our gated yard fence with her hoof, and disappeared into my neighborhood.