Put to death

Date: 1/9/2020

I don’t understand much of the dream since it’s traumatic so I feel my brain as forgotten most of the experience but here’s the bit I remember. I was being a dick to my baby brother as I normally do since any older sibling knows you gotta be a dick. My older siblings were always horrible to me so I do the same out of habit. He was getting upset and his shitty ass fucking mother who I hate more then life it’s self came in to be a asshole to me. I argued with her as i normally did since I was never going to respect a woman who tries to replace my mother. My dad is always on my side in these arguments since he knows I have issues. I have a feeding tube in my Side and another one for medications since I’m a recovering mentally ill person who hates food with a passion since I gain weight fast and the meds were for pains I get regularly. I got up and walked my pole to the living room with me and my dad started to get pissed off at me. I didn’t know why but he was saying my problems were a burden to him... I felt really alone hearing these words since me and him have always been close but he this time just laid into me about this shit ... I ran to my room with my pole and slammed my door. I was old enough to leave but no where to go nor money to get anywhere. I’ve been trapped in a house with a asshole wanna be step mom and her child I wish stayed in the country he came from. I dreamed about them leaving but any time the option was there she would weasel her ass back in with guilt. I never believed a word she said but dad is a softy to kids so it always worked. It all went blurry for a bit and I was helping my baby bro with something, I helped him with to much shit but it’s my job I guess as a sister to assist his annoying ass. All of a sudden his mom lost her shit at me for some reason, I never know why but her getting mad at me for fun is not unusual for her. Anyway she’d be able to fight me she’d take with joy. It’s utter bull shit how she treats me most days. Me and her argue more and my dad starts to get involved and as fucking normal he takes her side now. This shit has become a normal thing for me. I’m suck with a asshole wanna be mother who abuses everyone she’s around and a dad who no longer wants me around and why you ask, all because I was talking to my baby brother! Welcome to hell. It goes blurry and I end up on the ground being told I was useless and unneeded by my dad... so I fell him if he doesn’t fucking want me then overdoes me ! He agrees to it and injects a large amount of my pain killers I go my tube.. I’ve never felt more pain to numbness in my life. I have actually overdosed before from my ex step mom so this feeling they filled me was way to damn furmilre