Creating me

Date: 8/28/2019

Yet another dream about three people in a marriage. This time they were parents. Either the dude had three wives or it was a triad. All I know is they were having problems, him and my mother. They were on the verge of a divorce. But one night when he was over a spark ig lnited and they were in love again, attracted, and moved us kids out if the room so they could have sex. There was a lot going on outside that storyline. Something about magic and gatherings and us not being welcome in the family as we weren't really his kids. We were but maybe because it was not an acknowledged marriage we were acknowledged offspring? Anyway there was this huge magical working, his whole clan would be a part of it, but we couldn't be. Maybe that was the source of their arguements and divorce. I feel like once they had sex they reached some kind of accord. Anyway while they were 'busy' I took it upon myself to be a part of the circle. I tried to resist the call, but there was some dude (in a red/black cowl and mask) outside the door wanting a someone named Matt who'd been trapped in a tarot card and actually couldn't come to the door right now. But he wouldn't stop asking, knew I was there at the door listening. I knew what would happen if I opened the door, but finally I did it anyway. I felt like I could resist. I couldn't. The magic of the circle and the working underweigh was strong it sucked me and my siblings right in. I immediately went out and joined friends in the circle. They, my siblings, came stumbling out to join. I felt like I could make a place in the circle for us, I could do this. We had had no preparation though, knew nothing, but I heard the chanting and I picked a word which was repeated in the round and it was 'die' which some girl belted far too long. I took a place behind her in the dancing circle and decided it was a good word for me, pleasently morbid. Of course our parents came out and interrupted and dragged me back. My friend Meg, who had been lost somewhere and only recently returned came too, trying to stop them. She didn't want us, me, to be in too much trouble. But it was odd. We, I rather, was pulled into the kitchen. Mother held up a bunch of dried lavander, and one bundle looked like lavendwr but wasn't. It was something else. She had cut and dried this bundle when I was born. A sorcerer appeared behind me and took my right hand. Mother burned the bundle of flowers and it went up in magical flame in her hands, turned into a metal broach of flowers on a branch in wire. The sorcerer then placed it in my right palm and poured this hot liquid magic into it, like it was hot resin, and kept pouring and it was hot. I could only see partially what was going on, he was bent over my hand but it was glowing and bright and Magick. As he began the magic he asked or stated 'for how long I want to live' and I replied aloud or in thought 'I want to know everything. I want to be happy to extremes and sad to extremes and live long enough to be bored and sad and happy and visit other planets and know everything.' These words, this space inside my chest which wanted these things, helped create the talisman. When he was done it was a crystal. I strongly tasted rock candy, kicked my lips, the air, tasted the crystal looking for the candy but it wasn't there. I got up with the ach in my palm from the warmth and the crystal which looked like a piece of rock candy. My friend Meg was there, with a cut on each of her palms held out. I had missed her I knew this, she had been gone, so I hugged her so quickly. Glad to see her. But as I hugged he rmy memory slipped away even more. I didn't know if she was Meg or if I was. It was written in the back of my neck in big block letters 'NICE TO KNOW MEG.' Every other word was black and white.