Farting

Date: 1/29/2020

I'm in the back of a van sitting at a table with classmates. (I had gas so I was frequently half waking up to fart.) A classmate complains under his breath about the smell. "Sorry," I say. Everyone realizes it was me, going "Aw!" and turning away. I spray some axe on my seat. It's officially announced that smartphone screens cause cancer. I'm checking my phone and someone reminds me again, "Smartphone screens cause cancer." But I have to check my phone.