Stealing money from Mexico?

Date: 7/7/2017

my dad and i were in mexico but it was only a 3 hour drive away. i was on the balcony (apparently not mine though) at the resort and a zombie started attacking me, i won the fight and it had a key. so i took the key and opened this secret compartment just off the balcony and there were so many fancy pieces of jewelry, money, ornate knives and swords, and Louis Vuitton wallets. I took all of it including some other misc. items such as sand from France. so i drove back to nebraska real quick because i needed to hide right. I sent a text to everyone saying i got into some trouble and if they see a red truck to tell me because they're after me. lol well i finally get to my best friend sammi's apartment and show her and other people there the money and other items. she literally touched it and said "this is coke money" and i was like yeah right and she said "no just feel it" so i felt it and it was really gritty and then i looked at it and there was a bunch of blow on it. then she started smoking it???? the end