Fertility Doll

Date: 11/3/2024

Despite us never wanting kids, my husband randomly decided he did, and I went along with it. He purchased (or was gifted?) This doll. It was like a large Elf On a Shelf and was meant for fertility. Well it worked and I got pregnant, only I was dreading every second of motherhood. And despite already being pregnant, my husband insistently kept sleeping with me as if we could make another already. The doll would move, sometimes stare at me, and I found it comforting as if it was protecting myself and my unborn child, until I miscarried. I was sad but also relieved, and decided I wouldn't try for another. This upset the doll. My husband walked into the room and started to try for another, and when I said no, his mouth opened and his face contorted with abject horror, like he was screaming but there was no sound. And then he proceeded to force himself on me. Afterwards he acted as if nothing happened and just kept excitedly saying he couldn't wait to have a baby. I kicked him out and he was confused by my behavior. I wanted to throw the doll away but somehow knew that wouldn't work. I was trying to decide how to dispose of it when I woke.

AI generated interpretation This dream seems to be reflecting deep-seated fears and anxieties related to issues of control, boundaries, intimacy, and the reluctance towards motherhood. The fertility doll in the dream can symbolize pressure or expectations from the outside world (represented by your husband) to conform to traditional gender roles and societal expectations related to starting a family. This can be seen in how your husband unilaterally decides to have a child and disregards your own wishes and feelings on the matter. Your reluctance towards motherhood and the dread associated with it may suggest underlying fears or ambivalence about the idea of becoming a parent in real life. The pregnancy and subsequent miscarriage may symbolize feelings of loss or unfulfilled desires, as well as the internal conflict between your own desires and external pressures. The doll moving and staring at you could represent a sense of being watched or judged by societal norms and expectations, and feeling a need for protection and comfort in the face of these pressures. Your husband's insistent behavior towards trying for another child, despite the miscarriage and your clear reluctance, can reflect a lack of understanding or respect for your autonomy and boundaries within the relationship. His reaction to your rejection and subsequent coercive behavior may signify a power struggle or imbalance within the relationship, where your own needs and agency are being disregarded or violated. The confusion and horror on your husband's face when you assert your boundaries and kick him out could represent a fear of asserting yourself and setting clear boundaries in your waking life. The doll's upset reaction to your decision not to try for another child may symbolize feeling guilt or internal conflict over going against societal expectations or norms. Ultimately, the dream may be highlighting the need to assert your own desires, boundaries, and autonomy in the face of external pressures or expectations, as well as the importance of addressing any power imbalances or coercive behavior within relationships. It may also suggest a need to explore and understand your own feelings, fears, and desires surrounding motherhood, intimacy, and control in order to move towards a more fulfilling and authentic sense of self.