Gooch-licking Lego-demon

Date: 3/31/2017

Gooch-Licking Lego-Demon *not edited for spelling/grammar. just had to type it all quickly in the morning to get down as much detail as i could remember* Part I traveling alone somewhere in europe i come to an area of the street in which i cannot pass in my car (which for some reason is only roughly the size of me). i get out to ask what the mob of people is standing in the middle of the street for, with people only able to squeeze by with groceries and clutched pets like they're packed in at a rave, and the response is that some lady's van had been parked all winter there with a boot on her car and now it's finally going to get moved and they have a keg there to celebrate (courtesy of the city or something who are moving the van). i thought it was reasonable, so i get out and walk slightly around, slightly through, the mob, like the far back portion of a rave. i walked passed some people with musical instruments like tuba's saxophones etc who were boarding a bus, presumably who have just played some music at the important event of removing a van from the street. i was going to walk right by when i started laughing because i remembered some omniscient being telling me that if i wanted a place to stay i should find the orchestra, whom i thought would be playing in one of the grand, museum-ish, almost parliamentary looking buildings surrounding me, creating the setting i was in. i talked to a girl and basically just flat out asked her if i could stay with her. she said maybe. Part II the extremely average looking girl and i were walking down the street, into more of a hipster scene of the city now, running into people she knew, and trying to pass me off to one of her friends to stay with because i believe her excuse was "no so sorry i can't, i'm doing my masters degree" which was fine. one of her friends ended up accepting the proposal and the three of us started on our way towards her apartment. these two girls, as i stated to them in the dream, had the most energy i've ever seen, basically high giving strangers and kicking their heels as they walked. (not actually but i forget the actual stuff they were doing on the walk. really nice sweet people, just put it that way) we get to her ground level apartment and she brings me to her "room" which is just a long semi-circluar room (following the curve of the apartment building itself which is literal just a half circle thin building with a couple exits and a bunch of rooms). this is a communal room with about 8 beds, no more room on each side of it than a person needs to stand up in the morning, orange scratchy-looking top blanket on each bed folded and corners tightened neatly, and all with a small 12" 1980's bubble tv at the foot, on an individual table for each person. strange. All beds empty at about 6pm, of course, except the one directly beside hers which had a dude sleeping with headphones on, presumably because he works a night shift. The girl tells me that i'll be sleeping on what is essentially a long, curved, room-spanning leather ottoman, and tells me i should get comfortable while she goes and.. does something? i forget why she left. i take off my shoes and clothes and as i place my shoes down side by side at the foot of the bed, i obscure one onto its side. the goal of that small gesture is to show this girl that i threw my shoes off randomly and that i'm the aloof traveler type whom she can bang tonight and not be worried about seeing them again a week later. it's a crazy game we all play 🙄😪 Part III Some details are blurry here but basically, i went exploring. i came across another large communal room just like the one i was going to stay the night in, except this time when i opened the door i looked in and shut it right away, as there were all 8 beds filled with people going to sleep.. at 6pm.. with the lights on. but fuck it i'm exploring so i walked in and started my way across the room the the other door, muttering somehitnf about oh i'm just looking for the exit, as i heard from the girl i was staying with say that the exits are confusing and i'd get lost in the morning. As i passed the second bed to the end i looked at two hot girls laying on the single-sized bed in yoga pants and bras, a guy piped up.. "there's fucking exits everywhere." fiiine i'll go through the door at the end of the room and leave this room towards an exit of the building, but not without first throwing a wink towards the two hotties in bed #7. it was well received. as i left the room, i started seeing omnisciently the two girls start to make out heavy. real heavy. stripping each other like a porno, which to my delight, is the direction this dream was temporarily becoming. in a display of trying to attract me back in there they were really going at it, even drawing in the girl in bed #6 into the mix, then another girl, then a guy. where are all these people coming from?? the 5 of them would switch orgy positions like i was scrolling through a video on pornhub. no flow, no transitioning, just all of a sudden we're penetrating here, then we're penetrating there. i'm not sure why i left that scene, maybe because it wasn't actually ME watching in the first place but rather ME as an omniscient being. Actually at the end i remember there being a window in which i was watching through. don't ask me why i walked away from it, it's a dream. *onwards on my journey, this is where things start to get really fuzzy. i really only remember the end* Part IV i was walking through these rooms now with Carl, Kayla, Amber, Tyler, and some randoms when things stated to get weird. tyler and i, for some reason being like only 5ft tall, had to take down this sorta jacked bummy looking guy who towered over us. but, as my knowledge of 2 on 1's go, i figured it shouldn't be that herculean of a task. we started circling him and eventually i got his back and started rear naked choking him on the ground while tyler ran his business on the front. no matter how hard i squeezed his neck though i couldn't stop him from calling for either backup or the cops on his phone. eventually he disappeared but this already had my heart racing. *after this, there's a portion that i can't really remember but i know there was some logical transition here. some of the details involve more heart-racing stuff like running away in these semi-circle apartments scooby-doo gang style from either people, or demons, or something along the lines. heart still racing. eventually we get to a point where amber and kayla are on one bed and i'm putting on the sheet of another for carl, when all of a sudden, in walks a noticeably skinnier version of the girl who had brought me to the apartments in the first place. she was a demon and I knew it. only i knew it. how did i know it? her clothes looked way too big for her and her shirt was always falling off her one shoulder. obviously this meant when she left me in the first place, she spent days in a trance-like demon state with no food and lost a bunch of demon weight. obviously. she offered carl a massage and i laughed saying yeah carl you should definitely get a massage from her, knowing full well she's for sure a demon who's probably going to consume his soul. He's into it and gets fully nude and really embraces it all. he gets into the three-quarters prone position and she licks and sucks on his balls and gooch which he hilariously called his "naughty spot" lollll. i think his exact words were "oh yeah isn't it great when they get right into the naughty spot there" with 'naughty spot' of course being said in a poor hack-job of a british accent. "oh really??" i questioned, not having any prior knowledge to this naughty spot. so i went face first into kayla's naughty spot while she was three-quarters prone laying on the bed next to carl. i was promptly kicked off with a "hey ew! get outta here". classic kayla. As soon as i got the stern kick of kaylas foot to my chest, i realized the demon was tired of massaging and wanted to reveal itself. her face turned into a blue mask (a lego voodoo tribe leader mask to be exact) with her all black eyes squinting and opening like the mask was not a mask at all but now her actual face, and in a booming deep voice she stated chanting some shit which i was not about to stick around to decipher. i thought fuck this noise, this isn't even my city, i don't know any of you people, IM OUT, so i picked up my red voodoo tribe leader mask (for some reason now i had one too, except mine was a mask and not my actual face) and ran for the door which hopefully led to an exit. (bring it back to the point where she said the exits are hard to find and is get lost.. heart still racing) i go to open the door, locked, shit, luckily it didn't take much of a run-up and a good shouldering to bash the door through, and look at that, an exit door to my right! happy day! except this exit door led immediately to about a 50 foot drop off of the apparent fucking cliff these apartments were sitting on. (no wonder everyone only got one bed and an 80's TV in a communal room haunted by lego-demons.. how else could these young people afford this place with cliff-top views!) but i thought fuck it, i'll take my chances with a 50-foot drop rather than a gooch-licking lego-demon, so i bashed my shoulder into the exit door and started my descent, just in time to hear the sweet music of my alarm. *woke up alert, laughing, and happy* Note from the author: this is why i snooze my alarm; to go on these kinds of 9-minute adventures that feel like hours while you're in the dream state.