ceremonial // true love

Date: 6/16/2016

It's a somewhat future setting, K is older, but looks similar to now. The lighting in this dream was intense dark and effective - I watched Bo Burnhams Make Happy before sleep. K and I are in a hotel bed. I love him so. Our room is dark red, backlit and moody. Naomi asks me over text or IM if we can have Seder together, and I say I'm not sure if we can.... I remember wondering about how many, our parents and also being reluctant to commit to other plans...but I will be seeing Naomi and E and their parents tonight. More happened there but I only then remember being in now a grand room like a temple, a stone building of columns and wide shadows. Many people are gathered. First maybe it's just our family and friends but no, there is an audience too. People are dressed in colorful folksy finery. I am laying in what might be called a sarcophagus but really more like a cement tub. I am wearing heavily embroidered garments and people are surrounding the edges and sides and talking to me. I sometimes have a pillow and sometimes not. I don't think the audience is there at all at this point. The people around me are my fam and I feel a little anxious but mostly fine. People ask me questions, about Passover and about my mental health. I make hem laugh. Lilu? Or another small baby comes and crawls on me and we play and I start singing (ugh can't remember the song!!) and throwing my arms up and everyone joins in. I feel like the entertainment but also loved. Peg comes to me and gives me affection. Now they have to go. I answer some question about pesach with a less than truthful answer and Naomi asks me why I said what I said to her in the morning about it. Shit. I don't mean to lie. I am protecting something, a possibility. Someone else. Next, we moved from this 'stage' and now the space is very clearly a large theater, a big screen and graduated seating all the way up to the top back. We go up there. We meet someone, a distant friends cousin or something, who is the bartender. Next thing I know they have asked K if he wants to come assist behind the bar. I see the big old smile on his face and I know he is so nervous and I am excited for him. I come up and rudely say "bartender!! Can I order a drink!" He goes back and forth behind the bar and then out next to me. He has good bar tending clothes on, simple and crisp. There is certainly an air of danger around, but the warmth of our fam and friends, the lighting and liquor and video projection - this all seems cozy at the same time. Now a troupe of ceremonial dancers will perform. they too are in very heavily Embroidered dress. There is an important movie to played along w them which had political and spiritual undertones - I don't recall any of it tho except the Striking up close images of things like lips and orchids. K nudges me - wanna get outta here? He seems preoccupied and worried over something. Of course I do, I will follow you anywhere...I don't even use words but it's obvious. We go down some weird service elevator. The atmosphere becomes more seedy. I realize K is worried about protecting me and himself. The elevator opens but not enough, so I have to crawl and then pull him through. He loses his shirt and doesn't care. I am taken aback by the beauty of both his skin the color of moonlight and the muscles underneath, tender and new. He walks with confidence. I realize he has a long silver pistol, it looks heavy. He handles it well. I want to tell him I love him and go back to the hotel bed. He stalks the hall some. We go into a bathroom. There's some other people who aren't trying to hurt us, rowdy young men. K seems to be enjoying himself more than he does sometimes. He looks in the mirror and doesn't grimace. His eyes sparkle. I woke up before anything else happens, or without coherent images of the next part. We were safe tho. 🙌🏾😻