Snowboarding Disaster

Date: 11/23/2016

was snowboarding at this crazy stadium place, trump had paid for it. some kid cut me off at the bottom and I got soaked in this big puddle. I started taking off my awesome jacket at this point and putting it on a hanger? had to unstrap my board and walk through a puddle over my head to get across to the other shop or something. remembered I had my phone and wallet in my pocket. stripped everything down and put it all in my bag, then walked off to buy new clothes. owner of the stadium ski resort was named Shin Jie (L&M buyer). I somehow made my way upstairs into a dining area where people were dancing and having dinner, that's where the shit went down. people started screaming and running outside. I vaulted over railings and made it out the door and ran like hell. when I looked back, someone had yelled "would you look at that! they're firebombing the place!" there were no explosions, but huge plumes of smoke shot up into the air just like from a carpet bombing. I tried to run to my car but remembered I put my keys in my bag at that shop, so I just tried to run away from the place. as soon as I got to the edge of the property, FBI and Secret Service men showed up and started firing rubber bullets and fire hoses at us, forcing us to stay in. I was so scared. I turned to look at the stadium again, which looked like the new US Bank stadium, as it began to crumble to the ground. I fell to my knees and covered my head so no debris would hurt me. once the dust settled, I figured I'd try to go get my stuff and keys and gtfoutta there. I approached the building and a few people were trying to do the same so I followed them. this one guy in particular helped me down a spiral staircase that had swiveling round glass leaves for steps, it was weird but we made it. at the bottom, it was all kinda messed up but people were carrying on in their offices like nothing happened. we were being sneaky for some reason. we found a security control panel and tried to shut it down. I typed in the password "0000" and "1111" but they didn't work. we then saw two people get into an elevator. "going down?" I asked, and they nodded. we then tried to bumrush our way in but missed the door by inches, and it went down the shaft. it was a futuristic, round elevator, much like a deposit box at a bank that goes up and down the tube. another one came instantly, so we got on and there were two girls on there. the elevator dropped so fast I floated to the ceiling and back down. at the bottom, there was a tram-like super fast train for two. the dude got in front, I got in back. the seats were comfy but I was super packed in, like hugging the seat in front of me. I remember pulling a few G's when it took off. at the end, a ton of people were trying to cross that huge gap between shops but the crumbling of the stadium made it impossible. I met up with Shelby and Mike Nelson, shelby let me use her phone but I didn't make a call. this black lady was getting frustrated with us for some reason. the huge puddle had turned into something giant, and 8-10 marines were getting across using personal rafts. I jumped on one and floated over. they were in like, their tighty whiteys for some reason and were getting ready to crawl through this long pipe that the water was trickling through. I followed them through the pipe. on the way, I came across a silver necklace with a crucifix and some loose change and picked them up to give back to whichever marine lost it. I remember coming across a break in the roof of the pipe, and I poked my head up through it. my stuff was right there! I crawled through, as did the Marines, and started gathering my things and putting them all in my BAD duffel bag. I looked around at the Marines, and started shaking hands and hugging them, thanking them for their help and service. I started explaining my fear about the secret service men and FBI, and this one cheeky bastard in full uniform said "I'm not surprised." I was like "what do you mean?" and he said "well, you're the loser here..." no idea what he meant by that. I turned to go back through the pipe and head home, but all these poor, homeless looking asian people started piling through to our side. then I woke up.