Dream Journal Ultimate
Date: 1/26/2019
By hannahnapsalot
On this morning in reality I was having a really hard time waking up. I was in my living room full of screaming children a piano and my mom trying to wake me up. I couldn’t, I physically could not wake up. It’s like I knew I was annoyed with myself, because this exact phenomenon leaked into my dream. I would wake up (in my dream) and would slowly realize I was actually still asleep just in a dream. I knew I needed to get up, my mom kept telling me to! So I would do outlandish things to try and wake up and really prove to my brain I’m not awake, I am still asleep. The first time I went for a walk outside to see how alike this world could be with mine. I remember the streets were empty, no cars, no people, no dogs, no cats, no birds in the sky or the trees, and I knew that couldn’t prove it was a dream but boy did something so apocalyptic confirm my thoughts to me. I started screaming and screaming, but nothing happened. No one came to investigate. That’s when I went back into my house, where was my family? I could still hear the piano when I walked in, but no one was there. No one but their sounds were present. That’s when I turned to a wall and started bashing my own head in. No pain, no blood, and suddenly I was awaking again. This time in another home, I recognized it, but it wasn’t mine. This was another dream. Immediately I got up and wandered the house looking for anyone, and I found a family, they claimed to be my own. But it felt foreign, this was definitely another dream. I brainstormed to myself on how I could startle myself awake this time. That’s when “my stepfather” walked up behind me and gave me a hug. This was weird. My real step father would never hug me from behind. I was grossed out, really grossed out and then I realized that I could use this situation to wake myself up. Real me would never stay awake long with a situation that disgusts me so strongly to the core. An affair with a stepfather. This was hard, it was really making me uncomfortable, even knowing he wasn’t really my step dad. But I felt this urgency to wake up, I don’t know what dream me thought this urgency was but now being awake I know it was the stress my mother was putting onto me to wake up. I ate dinner with this pretend family and then I asked my stepfather (let’s call him Kyle, I don’t want to continue to refer to him as my stepfather) if he wanted to watch a movie in the family room while the younger kids went to bed. His wife, my “mom” was to aid them all to bed and then go to sleep herself. I started next to him, and slowly made my way closer. Then on top of him. I can leave the rest unsaid, before long I jerked awake. This was my house, but the walls were just the slightest different color. I looked around the room. My sister was playing the piano, my real sister. My baby sister was playing on her iPad. This was exactly the setting I had fallen asleep in what seemed to be days ago. The house was in check, besides the walls which I easily could be imagining and reaching for. Maybe I was finally awake. I stood up and began to inspect. It was when I reached the front door I was flooded with the familiar realization “I am in a dream” I swung the door open and knew I was right. I was around three stories up, looking down a railing. My house was an apartment. The plants and the sky looked and felt like I was in an Arizona apartment complex. I wasn’t even in Utah. This is another dream. I looked to my right and then my left and I spotted what I assumed was my next door neighbor. She was a fit woman, truly. Long tan legs, long black hair, a crop tee showing off her tattooed back and flat stomach. Last dream I sexually disgusted myself, this time I decided right then and there, I would sexually excite myself awake. I’d make this a dream I didn’t want to leave, because I am always forced awake from those. I walked straight up to this woman, she noticed me, and looked at me with the ruby rose smirk that makes my legs weak, my pace only quickened. As soon as I was close to her, I pulled her from the neck and another hand cupping behind her ear, chest to chest, lips smashing together. She kissed back, oh did she kiss back. It didn’t take long to take her clothes off and I was squatting in front of her, and I’m sure anyone can put together what I was doing to this lovely fox. Right as she started to moan and right before she screamed out, I awoke. I awoke on the floor. I didn’t have to look around, I knew I was in a dream. I could feel the cold press of a gun into my leg. I’ve never been strapped in my life. This time I awoke angry to be in yet another dream. I stood right up and in the corner of the room, where three men I never knew stood, I pulled my gun out and shot them all in the head. I didn’t wake up. Now knowing I didn’t wake up worries me, killing three men doesn’t cause enough discomfort to awake me. Oh well. I went down a hallway and finally noticed I was in a school. I turned into a classroom where eight year olds stood. Now I would be the biggest monster I always fear. A school shooter. I turned to the teacher and in front of all her doe eyed students I shot her in between her eyes. Blood and brain exploded onto the green chalk board behind her, her daisy dress now stained with the rest of her face. A tuft of hair and scalp hung onto her collarbone. The kids started screaming and I woke up. Thank god. This world just faded, it faded until I couldn’t see anything or feel anything or even hear anything. I think twenty minutes passed in this phase of sleep before my eyes fluttered open, this was home. This I knew. I was finally awake.