taken innocence

Date: 12/2/2024

Approx date. I have this dream that i’m on an island with 3 other girls and one guy. I’m standing by a cliff on the sea side with the guy and one of the girls. The guy kinda resembles young Bruno Mars and he has a very fuckboy attitude. The girl is reminding me so much of Mel from when I worked at Mcdonald’s. We’re under a tarp with a circular table between us and the tarp is making the atmosphere blue. The guy keeps giving me “fuck me” eyes. He is speaking with Mel but makes references and smirks directed at me that Mel is too innocent/slow to pick up. I’m thinking oh what a jackass, he really thinks id like him, he’s like this to every woman. But in a weird way i did feel a little inclined to maybe doing giving in sometimes. then he asks Mel if she’s a virgin, i’m grossed out cause it feels sick to ask this poor girl something like that and I can tell he’s just being a jerk. She’s like no and I’ve never been fingered, but id like to try, maybe even with two fingers. I’m like jesus , uh no Mel no need to rush just take things easy, okay? I’m like ew anyway i’m gonna go read my book in the cow barn. I went into the barn which also had a blue atmosphere and cracks of fresh air coming in. I realize it’s cold so I turn back after a few minutes to get my blanket. I hear what sounds like a man’s belt buckle undoing from outside where we were. I’m thinking oh my god this pervert no be didn’t. I peek through the window of the door and he’s fully got Mel in standing position. Mel is an unsightly girl for certain and she looks like she was nearly having a seizure with her facial expressions which was gross. But also I was like, my god this pig! He’s not only taking advantage of Mel, but also hed really fuck anything. I decided.. ok they’re consenting adults.. right? So I don’t intervene. The other two girls come by from outside at some point. One reminded me so much of Breah Lively and the other idk one of her friends. They were both seeming really bitchy and judgemental and semi inhuman. They’re like “omg ew! you didn’t !! tehe” while like flirting with him and not seeming to fully grasp the situation or just not caring at all. I’m like what the fuck are you all insane. Mel was basically crumpled in the grown out of breathe and looking unwell. I knelt to check on her. I felt like screaming and hitting everyone and telling them to get the hell away. I’ve always liked to defend the little guys. Suddenly I fast forward and Im sitting in a beautiful open field on an ocean cliff side. But that guy is sitting beneath me. and we are both naked. and we’re having sex and i’m letting him gently thrust. I could feel how warm his skin was. There was a gentle breeze on my bare body. I was comfortable, physically I felt fine. Mentally I was distraught. He looked fine, the space was fine, it was fine, but I held such deep disgust for him. As well as deep disgust for myself for allowing this creep to be with me, and someone like Mel (as bad as that sounds), and still flirt with bitchy mean girls. I had kind of a blank dissociated face and I felt rather frozen. The man ejaculated inside me, I felt despair. Note that I’m currently also heavily dealing with kai’s porn addiction and i think that impacted me.